This young woman at the business that I patronize is most definitely the type that I tend to get so hung up on. Long ago I decided with at least one person in my past who was this to me, to view the resolution of the dilemma I found myself in as a problem to be solved rather than the one path to true love or the way things had to be. I've mentioned Sara in previous posts, about how I tried turning my back on love.
I've never resolved that type of problem any better than how I resolved it with Sara. In the end I just let her go, and from the beginning I totally decided that that would be an absolutely acceptable outcome. The only thing I've ever been able to do since then when I've been faced with identical dilemmas is fine tune. Fine tuning consists of cutting the love interest loose sooner in the time line than I did with Sara. That seems to be the direction to go in, not trying to work things out and take advantage of some imagined opportunity.
So this young woman at this store is special to me, but not in the way I used to imagine. Her kind with her issues comes up pretty frequently and I just seem to get better and better at dealing with it. I don't know what I could potentially offer such a person than demonstrate again and again how I handle this same dilemma whenever it comes up. I've decided that the way I handle it is the best way to act in our mutual self interests.
I don't know what I could possibly offer her that could be any better than that. More money? Be a lot younger? Be Johnny on the spot asking her on a date at exactly the right time in both our lives? Have a bigger penis? I don't know what I could possibly offer such a person than to change my attitudes and behaviors so I turn from the type of person she's come be afraid of to the type of person who can consistently act in our mutual self-interests.
There's plenty of types of women that I've made the acquaintance of over the years who just don't present this downwardly spiraling dynamic every single time I try to make something work out with them. I'm sure she's dated other types of men as well.
Therefore, to my way of seeing things, I have no plans to reach out to this young woman in any way. I see no need to patronize another business of this kind instead, I just have no plans to ask her out on a date, try to get contact information, give her a CD of my music or one of my comic books, give her a business card with my web address, tell her about upcoming shows I might do with my band or solo, or anything else. I used to do all of those kinds of things only a few years ago with similar types of women, and I have little or nothing t show from it. I can totally accept an outcome where we don't become friends or any better acquainted than we are now.