<![CDATA[Richy Vegas - The artwork and music of Richard Alexander

<![CDATA[Richy Vegas - The artwork and music of Richard Alexander - Blog]]>Sun, 10 May 2026 13:24:47 -0700Weebly<![CDATA[Chelsea]]>Sun, 10 May 2026 19:34:50 GMThttp://www.richyvegas.com/blog/chelsea"Chelsea" was someone I met in 2003. She was eighteen years younger than me. She laughed a lot at me when we hung out with mutual friends on the first night we met. She had an off and on boyfriend she really liked but she felt insecure about. She would hang out with me with the understanding that we were just friends. She was really attractive and a I like her. This couple friend that worked where she worked advised me to go light on her and not come on like I was trying to have sex with her.

I lost touch with Chelsea by 2005. She stopped calling and I just let her go. Then one night in October of 2007 she called me out of the blue. It was around eleven o'clock at night. She wanted me to pick her up from her apartment, where she lived with her dad. I picked her up, brought her over to my house, and we had sex. The sex wasn't really anything special. She wouldn't let me kiss her, for example, and it was all pretty anticlimactic. I took her home at around four in the morning. She blocked my number from her phone when I tried to call her, so I just let it go.

I put in a friend request for her on Facebook in 2011. By then I'd committed to abstinence from drugs and alcohol. We reconnected, sort of. She pretty much friend-zoned me for the next year and a half or so. I decided to let go of her again after I called her in September of 2012. When I called she was like, "Oh high." She didn't seem enthused to hear from me at all, and I did some math on her. I remembered her telling me she wanted to be represented as one of the snake women that comes out of my mother as Medusa's head. I decided then and there I no longer had any interest dating her.

In the years that followed, I figured she had sex with me that night in the first place to get back at an errant boyfriend. I thought about that today. If I encountered any very desirable woman in my world who wanted to use me in that manner, I would seriously consider following my buddha and at least seriously consider letting such an "opportunity" slip through my fingers, ESPECIALLY if it were someone I really liked a LOT. I'm not prepared to say that I anticipate having such an "opportunity" with anyone in my world these days. My over all relative lack of experience with women and sex might just mean I'm wildly off base in whatever guesses I make about this or that woman in my world I like a LOT.

]]><![CDATA[I'd rather be big in France (like Jerry Lewis)]]>Sun, 03 May 2026 04:03:52 GMThttp://www.richyvegas.com/blog/id-rather-be-big-in-france-like-jerry-lewisAm I big on Reddit? A woman said she heard I was big on Reddit when I talked to her a couple of weeks ago. I didn't press her for details. I said something like, "Reddit? No, on Instagram, maybe." But, yeah, am I big on Reddit? Is that the online presence that I did not consent to and whose existence I've speculated on since November of 2018? Anyone? Hello? I did a couple of searches based on my name and my pseudonym and came up empty. Am I on some Sub-Reddit such a r/sexualpredators or something like that? Whatever it is, it wasn't a good presence for the longest time. If I have a presence on Reddit at all, that is.

Oh yes, my gig this coming Thursday.

]]><![CDATA[The biggest difference these days]]>Thu, 23 Apr 2026 09:23:58 GMThttp://www.richyvegas.com/blog/the-biggest-difference-these-days I’ve talked a lot about crash and burn episodes involving mostly unavailable women that occurred in mostly my twenties. A principal element of dysfunction that I brought to those episodes was the high expectations that I had for these individual women. When I compare my experiences with individual, mostly unavailable women back then with my experiences with individual, mostly unavailable women these days, the sky high expectations are simply not there these days.

It’s not as if I one day simply decided to just be a good guy about my expectations for women and lived happily thereafter. I credit my improvement to following my buddha. The “what if I turned my back on love” path that I’ve embraced these past fourteen years allows me to more readily let go of my expectations for attractive women who seem to take something of an interest in me these days.

It is as if a fork opens upon the road I’m on and a rightward option appears before me that involves letting supposed opportunities slip through my fingers if I take that rightward path. It is in the taking of this path that I often question the actual level of interest these individual women have in me and I invariably seem to find my expectations diminishing. Maybe one day I’ll take this buddha path too far and let an actual, genuine opportunity with an actual, genuine very attractive woman actually, genuinely slip through my fingers. It hasn’t happened yet, to the best of my knowledge, but I suppose it could.]]><![CDATA[Special occasion]]>Sat, 11 Apr 2026 01:08:34 GMThttp://www.richyvegas.com/blog/special-occasionIdeally, I'd like to go to the coffee shop only once in a while so that the trip becomes a special occasion. Here's my gig flyer again.

]]><![CDATA[Given a choice between the two....]]>Fri, 27 Mar 2026 02:39:15 GMThttp://www.richyvegas.com/blog/given-a-choice-between-the-twoI've just completed a comic book that chronicled how I experienced a hallucination about Anna. "Anna" was a classmate I fixated on during the spring semester of 1986. I experienced a hallucination about her in 1995. The hallucination had me thwarting a serial killer who was stalking her. In the hallucination I recruited the cool punks and Matt to help me save her. I had a LOT of hallucinations of that nature during the early months of 1995.

From 2019 to 2025 I mixed it up with that former cashier from that grocery store. I used every trick in the book to come to terms with my fixation on her. She finally set me free in September or October of 2025 by letting me know that, yes. she really was not available, and that, finally, she just wanted to let bygones be bygones and allow me to walk away from that whole bad deal.

If I could choose only one of those two experiences, I'd choose the experience I had concerning that former cashier over my heroic "recovered memories" of 1992 and 1995. The recovered memories were just me being ill, while I actually had to employ brain power and make concrete decisions about that former cashier. The way I let go of that former cashier, and how I prevailed in getting my wish to just let her go, healed a lot of wounds from my very painful twenties.

MInd you, if I actually did save Anna and all of those others, that would definitely be something. But I'm talking about the WAY I experienced those heroic deeds versus the way I experienced dealing with that former cashier. The experience regarding Anna and all of those others was more of an experience of my own mind, while the years I spent dealing with that situation with that former cashier was very much of this world.

]]><![CDATA[I've got a gig!]]>Mon, 16 Mar 2026 04:54:24 GMThttp://www.richyvegas.com/blog/ive-got-a-gigI've got a gig at the Carousel Lounge on Thursday, May 7th, from 4 to 5 p.m. Here's some cover art for issue number 5 of "Richy Vegas Psychoverse."

Here"s a flyer for my gig in May.

]]><![CDATA[The why of it]]>Thu, 12 Feb 2026 05:09:26 GMThttp://www.richyvegas.com/blog/the-why-of-itMy effort to refrain from patronizing that one coffee shop and that one diner goes along nicely, thank you. What do I hope to accomplish with this effort? Will I score points with those waitresses and baristas at those places? Is that the reason to put so much effort into demonstrably proving that I am NOT relating to these women in such an obsessive manner as I might? The simple answer to that central question, will I score points with these women, that simple answer is no, that is not the reason to put forth this supreme effort.

It would be NICE to score points in such a manner with these waitresses and baristas (boy, would it ever), but that's not it. The reason to put forth this supreme effort to refrain from patronizing these two businesses is the change it will make inside of ME. Here's an analogy. While looking up articles online on the phenomenon of people who stalk celebrities, I saw a picture of a very handsome young man holding a hand painted sign in an urban setting proclaiming his love for Taylor Swift. I assume he stood outside of her residence in New York City exercising his free speech rights to peacefully proclaim his love for Taylor Swift in a public space.

Now, if that young man decided one day to hang it up and just go home and never again stand outside of Taylor Swift's residence proclaiming his undying love for her, I don't think it would score points with Taylor Swift to such an extent that she would then pursue HIM romantically. However, such a move by this young man to end his vigil outside of her residence might just spark a series of changes within him that might lead him to engage with desirable women and the world in general in a much more constructive and beneficial way. In my case, I hope, I hope, I hope, that in my analogous situation I can learn to engage with women and the world in general in more constructive ways than in seeking out "opportunities" to hang around ostensibly unavailable women.
]]><![CDATA[Priorities for my budget]]>Thu, 05 Feb 2026 19:17:45 GMThttp://www.richyvegas.com/blog/priorities-for-my-budgetI've managed to succeed in my goal to refrain from visiting my usual coffee shop and diner where my usual waitress and barista suspects work. Both of these very attractive young women have serious boyfriends, still, as far as I know, and I'm pleased with the money I'm saving by refraining from patronizing these businesses. I feel as if I have a somewhat reasonable chance that they'll read this blog entry and know that my main goal right now is to refrain from spending so much money at the places that they work, and it's not because I'm still so very upset with either of them for any interactions that have gone on these past several months.

I think about a former friend of mine who, when I knew him, had a lot of success with picking up women and having girlfriends and whatnot, but he was also a bit of a scoundrel with these women as well. I think about how it seems as if so many women seem to feel safer with someone such as him over an obsessive type such as myself. They may feel as if they have something to work with in him, while an obsessive type such as myself they tend to see as a hopeless case. How can any kind of back and forth happen through a seemingly endless barrage of phone calls, or texts, or emails, or dm's that obsessive guys are notorious for sending?

Here's the thing, though. My former friend was FINE with the way he was towards women and the world in general. He would brag about his sexual exploits with stray women that would undermine his relationships with his one ex-wife and his girlfriends, and he would always say this one girlfriend that he would physically abuse, often, deserved that kind of treatment. As for ME, the obsessive guy, I've wanted to make changes in how I relate to women since adolescence.

I feel as if I've made significant changes with how I relate to women and the world in general these past twenty-five or so years. I've given up a lot of bad habits such as smoking, drinking and drugs. Giving up those bad habits allowed me to focus in on improving my relationship with women. I've written on this blog often about the Cognitive Behavior mental exercises and challenges I've laid down before myself and I don't think I relate to individual women I'm attracted to as obsessively as I used to. Refraining from patronizing this one diner and this one coffee shop is now directly tied to continuing on with the changes I've made in how I relate to women.

I've written often about my "What if I turned my back on love?" Cognitive Behavior experiment I first tried with a girl in college named Sara in 1988, and how I consciously revived that experiment in 2012. By refraining from patronizing this one coffee shop and diner to the extent I used to patronize them, yeah, I may let some opportunities to get with these two women slip through my fingers, but they will not know me as someone who was obsessively underfoot in their lives at all times, either. As an obsessive guy, I see those two scenarios as my choices in this situation. Experience tells me to go ahead and let any supposed opportunities to get with either of these two women slip through my fingers, because I've got a lot to overcome with this obsessive guy label.]]><![CDATA[Making up my mind]]>Fri, 23 Jan 2026 16:57:30 GMThttp://www.richyvegas.com/blog/making-up-my-mindWhen I was eighteen I saw a girl I went on a few dates with in high school. I initially asked her out because she'd flirted with me, hard, during a class one day. On my first date with her I kissed her passionately when I let her off at her house. I'd never kissed a girl like that before. Soon after I saw her, arm in arm, walking through the halls of school, with her real boyfriend. It took me a long time to understand what all that was about. I heard years later that this boyfriend would talk about her in disparaging ways at the time he dated her. He'd say that he wanted to, "Get rid of her," and shit like that. I guess she wanted male attention from me that she wasn't getting from this boyfriend. She probably didn't take me very seriously because I was so easily smitten by her charms.

When I saw her in that club at the age of eighteen, that boyfriend was long out of the picture, but my efforts with her had fizzled as well. I remember being really depressed that night at seeing her. I moped about the club not knowing what to do with myself in regard to her. This as not the first time I'd felt this way. At times, while still in high school, I'd taken to driving by her house and walking by her in a lunchroom when I took vocational classes at the old Austin High and she took classes at Austin Community College. As I'd ritually walk by her table in the lunchroom I'd stare at her and not want to talk to her.

Looking back at how depressed I became over that situation with her, I think about how I could have handled it better. I never learned how to let go of problematic women until I taught myself how to do that when I was twenty-three in 1988. That was the whole "What if I turned my back on love?" challenge I laid down for myself in regard to Sara. That whole approach towards the dilemmas Sara presented to me altered my trajectory as to how I related to women in general from then on. I consciously revived that experiment in 2012, and it's how I roll with problematic women these days.

Last year I had, by my count, six women represent themselves as interested in me, to a greater or lesser extent, under false pretenses. I approached a couple of them for social reasons last year. I don't have a problem with approaching those two women, because I assessed the situations after approaching them and just backed off and went on my way. Again, I didn't learn how to do that with such women until I was twenty-three years old.

I went to the coffee shop for the first time in a week this morning. I'd managed six days without patronizing a restaurant or a coffee shop before my trip this morning. That's pretty good for me. It was mentally arduous for me to get those six days, too. I give myself token reward stickers on my calendar when I accomplish a such a goal. I also give myself a token reward sticker for going to get coffee only once in a day with no further visits there or to a restaurant.

What do I hope to accomplish with this token reward system I have in place? Well, saving money primarily, but that's not all. I don't want to be around unavailable women so much, either. I've thought about that night at that club when I was eighteen, and I want to do better. I don't want to reside in some awful limbo state where I don't know what to do with myself in regard to this or that unavailable woman. I told myself yesterday that I don't want to walk into such places where cute but unavailable waitresses and baristas work, and where cute twenty-something women hang out, until I've made some concrete, materially manifested decisions about how frequently I go to such places. I would like to go to such places a LOT less than I normally do these days. Not only to save money, but to see if I can no longer reside in that awful limbo place where I just don't know what to do with myself in the face of so many desirable yet unavailable young, attractive women.

Habits such as patronizing favorite restaurants and coffee shops are hard to change, but I've had quite a bit of success already, which I track on my calendars with token rewards. It probably won't mean anything to the cute yet unavailable waitresses and baristas if I patronize their places of employment a LOT less in the upcoming days, weeks, and months, but it will mean a hell of a lot to ME. I will save money and I will have material manifestations of my commitment to myself in the form of more time spent on things such as reading, cleaning my apartment, practicing music, and drawing comics.]]><![CDATA[Maybe not an exercise in futility after all]]>Sun, 04 Jan 2026 05:25:13 GMThttp://www.richyvegas.com/blog/maybe-not-an-exercise-in-futility-after-allMy last post talked about how I offered the same deal to that former cashier that I'd offered her last summer. I said that she could date whomever the hell she wants, and that we could just be friends. I said later on in that post that I might just have to piss up a rope on that offer, because that former cashier might not want to have anything to do with me. Yeah, that may be, but maybe someone in my world read that post and decided to take me up on that offer.

A week ago, as I patronized a business I regularly patronize, a waitress/ barista type who works there 'fessed up to having a boyfriend. I took it well, in my opinion, and just had to resign myself to scratching her off as a love interest. I saw her again at her place of employment yesterday, and she seemed to want to talk to me. Small talk, yeah, but still. I thought about all of that today, and I wondered if she'd read my last blog post about that former cashier and the deal I offered. I wondered if she wanted to see if I'd put my money where my mouth is.

Hell yeah, I'll accept the same deal from that waitress/ barista type that I offered that former cashier. Hell yeah! She's fucking gorgeous, too. Sure, it'll probably be a really circumscribed deal of that nature in that I'll probably only be able to see her and talk to her at her place of employment, but at least what all was going on before between me and her is over and now her real situation is out in the open. Hell yeah, I'll take that deal.

She's not the only one in my world I'll extend that offer to, either. Last summer I wrote a post about how this one girl at my job seemed to want to help that former cashier be the bane of my existence, still. I offered this coworker that same deal I offered that former cashier. The offer still stands for her, too. SHE can date whomever the hell she wants, too, and we can just be friends as well. I think that my coworker might be going back to school soon, but yeah, she can come into work and say hi every now and then. That'd be cool.
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