It looks like my most intractable love interest in a very long time has finally been cut loose.  My last post detailed how I sent a young woman a Facebook friend request, and in exchange I agreed to not patronize the business that she works at at the times I thought that she might work there.  I'm prepared to do this for years to come.  No one who actually reads this, and I play it as if anyone in the world could potentially read this, this is the internet after all, should have any reason to doubt what I say.

What to do now?  Look for someone to take her place?  All i have to do is dig into my voluminous archive of failed deals to know that would be a mistake.  It's a classic case of, "Be careful what you ask for, you just might get it."  I don't want someone to just take her place as a love interest.  If I want anything at all from women, and after these deals go south like this one has I don't want all that much initially, I want something totally different, if at all possible.

The most I am willing to do now is do away with the notion that I want a love interest at all.  As someone who has not had a lot of luck in dating, I would tend to think that I needed a love interest just to make me feel as if I had something going on in the game.  I think that is where a lot of things started to go wrong.  Right off from the beginning. that is where things would go wrong.  It would often seem to the women whom I would assign the role of love interest to that my decision came about quite arbitrarily and with little or no provocation from them.

What to do?  In the Fall of 2012, I decided to try the "turn my back on love" line of inquiry, something I first tried in the Spring of 1988.  I mean, that line inquiry that I tried just once with one woman, probably imposed enough self-control on me that by the time I succumbed to my demons and had to be hospitalized and treated in 1992, it meant that my hospitalization and initial treatment was entirely voluntary.

So trying it just once with one woman influenced my behavior with every woman I've ever had an interest in since.  But, I only fully tried to turn my back on love just once, until the Fall of 2012.

Right now, in relation to the college-age women in my environment, and that consists exclusively of women who work at businesses that I patronize, I will try the Constanza variation.  It's from that episode of "Seinfeld" where George Costanza does the opposite of what he normally does just to see what happens.  I've just shifted it to a romantic love setting.  Want to eat at a restaurant because a certain waitress is there? Eat someplace else.  Want to ask a girl for permission to put in a Facebook friend request?  Don't do it. Forget about asking anyone out or any of that jazz.  It helps that I've already tried all of that stuff.

In a previous post about the young woman I've just cut loose, I said, "Her kind with her issues comes up pretty frequently."  I would like it if her kind with her issues came up a lot less.   Her kind: attractive college-age woman.  Her issues: actual availability and interest in me.  Sometimes these issues show up in darker ways than others, but I've had enough of it all the same. 
 

I've been getting calls from family members lately asking me how I'm doing.  I haven't been in contact with any of them lately, so I don't know where they get the idea that there's something wrong.  Are they reading these blog posts and not telling me?  If they are, I wish that they would just come out and tell me.  Vladimir Putin can read my blog posts anytime he wants, so I don't know why they think that they're reading anything that I would have a problem with them reading.

I wanted to just shut up about this young woman at this business that I've written about, but perhaps there's people on my end who would want to know what's going on.  I sent her a Facebook friend request last week, and I have yet to hear back from her.  I'm prepared to patronize this business only at the times I'm almost certain she's not there, and I'm prepared to do so for years after she's probably moved on if it comes to that.  A couple of times I've written things and then I've seen her, stuff about how I think she may be interested in me, and she looked at me with great trepidation, as if I'm going to start flooding her with obsessive attention.  I put in this Facebook friend request, but man, that doesn't mean I want to go in there and have her look at me like that again.  I do not want to see that again, and I am quite prepared to never see her again rather than put up with that. 

I'm at the stage of this book where I just ink as many pages as I feel like instead of limiting it to one or two.  Up until the last fifteen or so pages of these books, I try to limit the finished inking on no more than two pages a day.  On this one I decided to just do the preliminary outlining to finish out February and begin March, and not worry about keeping up with the finished pages until I get that done.  Normally I do two finished pages, and if I feel like it, I do preliminary outlining on as many pages I want.

I should finish the book by this weekend, then I will photocopy the last thirty-eight pages and set about laying the book up.  I will need to buy a coffee table, because a pane of glass broke on the one I have.  I should have the book ready for the printer by the middle of next week at the latest.

I haven't been practicing guitar much lately.  My teacher notices an improvement in my playing at our lessons since my medication change.  I notice that I can get pretty mad about stuff on this new medication, but my thinking seems to be less muddled and I'm able to figure what to do about a lot of things much more quickly than I was previously able to.

I hope to finish with issue number eleven of Richy Vegas Comics at least by the end of the month.  I wanted to finish by the first week in March, but there's no way that'll happen, so the six month deadline will do for sure.

I hoped to finish so early because I wanted to go back into issue number four and add some pages for a second printing, should it ever come to that.  I guess that I'll just have to cross that bridge when I come to it.  I feel like that little guy in "Yellow 
Submarine."  You know, the Nowhere Man?  Sitting in his Nowhere Land, making all his nowhere plans for nobody.  Another printing, are you kidding me?  I guess that I just want to bring a level of professionalism to what I do in the hopes that it will come in handy some day.

Speaking of bringing a level of professionalism to my affairs, business and personal, I recall a few months ago a time in the eighties where I saw a men's right movement guy was briefly interviewed on a news magazine show.  I guess a lot of the men's  right movement guys are guys who got hosed in the divorce.  Fairly well-to-do white professional types, at least the ones I ever see or read about.  Robert Hughes in his book, "The Culture of Complaint,"  cited the men's rights movement as a prime example of what's wrong with this country.  Essentially, the men's right movement seeks to claim victim status for privileged white men, because these guys see all of the other special interest groups who claim victim status because of minority status or gender or sexual orientation or religion, and they want a piece of that pie for themselves.

Anyway, this guy, dress shirt, tie, beard, fortyish, you know, an asshole, is asked what his chief complaint is about the wimmens.
His voice starts to break as he says something like, "…how they take what ever you say and try to use it against you."  Well you sitting there on national television on the verge of tears about that sort of thing is sure to put a stop to all of that in your world, dude.
As a matter of fact, maybe it did.  Fellas, have any of you ever had a woman try to take what you say and use it against you ever since say, 1988?  Thanks dude!  

Now it's my turn to start blubbering about something that really ticks me off about the wimmens.  I mean this at least has to be right up there on the same level as what this guy was on about.  You know, 'sob sob,' when a woman is pissed of at you but won't tell you the reason why? 'Boo hoo hoo!'  Let see, when did that last happen with me? Well the last time that happened with me, the woman wouldn't return my (2) phone calls.  Well, that kind of thing really pisses me off,  and they know about how that kind of shit can really piss someone off.  I don't really need to tell them.  So I did what I always do when a woman doesn't call me back, I don't call them.  So far my mother is the only one who's managed to be on board for that one, and that suits me fine.

Because you make me happy.