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Costanza

3/29/2016

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It looks like my most intractable love interest in a very long time has finally been cut loose.  My last post detailed how I sent a young woman a Facebook friend request, and in exchange I agreed to not patronize the business that she works at at the times I thought that she might work there.  I'm prepared to do this for years to come.  No one who actually reads this, and I play it as if anyone in the world could potentially read this, this is the internet after all, should have any reason to doubt what I say.

What to do now?  Look for someone to take her place?  All i have to do is dig into my voluminous archive of failed deals to know that would be a mistake.  It's a classic case of, "Be careful what you ask for, you just might get it."  I don't want someone to just take her place as a love interest.  If I want anything at all from women, and after these deals go south like this one has I don't want all that much initially, I want something totally different, if at all possible.

The most I am willing to do now is do away with the notion that I want a love interest at all.  As someone who has not had a lot of luck in dating, I would tend to think that I needed a love interest just to make me feel as if I had something going on in the game.  I think that is where a lot of things started to go wrong.  Right off from the beginning. that is where things would go wrong.  It would often seem to the women whom I would assign the role of love interest to that my decision came about quite arbitrarily and with little or no provocation from them.

What to do?  In the Fall of 2012, I decided to try the "turn my back on love" line of inquiry, something I first tried in the Spring of 1988.  I mean, that line inquiry that I tried just once with one woman, probably imposed enough self-control on me that by the time I succumbed to my demons and had to be hospitalized and treated in 1992, it meant that my hospitalization and initial treatment was entirely voluntary.

So trying it just once with one woman influenced my behavior with every woman I've ever had an interest in since.  But, I only fully tried to turn my back on love just once, until the Fall of 2012.

Right now, in relation to the college-age women in my environment, and that consists exclusively of women who work at businesses that I patronize, I will try the Constanza variation.  It's from that episode of "Seinfeld" where George Costanza does the opposite of what he normally does just to see what happens.  I've just shifted it to a romantic love setting.  Want to eat at a restaurant because a certain waitress is there? Eat someplace else.  Want to ask a girl for permission to put in a Facebook friend request?  Don't do it. Forget about asking anyone out or any of that jazz.  It helps that I've already tried all of that stuff.

In a previous post about the young woman I've just cut loose, I said, "Her kind with her issues comes up pretty frequently."  I would like it if her kind with her issues came up a lot less.   Her kind: attractive college-age woman.  Her issues: actual availability and interest in me.  Sometimes these issues show up in darker ways than others, but I've had enough of it all the same. 
 


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