Past experience tells me that I will find a greater sense of self control and, consequently, a greater sense of self confidence by going no contact on this band. I'm not talking about experiences from thirty years ago, either. Try experiences from today, yesterday, and the day before. I still manage to refrain from patronizing that one business I've talked about these last few months. This business features a female employee who, in my opinion, bears a strong enough resemblance to that former cashier I still go on and on about. I asked that young woman at that business if she knew anyone by that former cashier's name, and she said no. Not long after I broached the subject to this young woman about the former cashier, I decided that I will no longer "buzz" that young woman's place of employment, and I haven't buzzed that business to this day.
At a stop smoking support group I used to attend, one of the members with many years off of cigarettes under her belt theorized that recovery, like addiction, is progressive. In the throes of an alcohol addiction, an addict will progressively drink more and more as the addiction runs its course. Same with a smoking addiction. Same with a romantically obsessive addiction, in my experience. I find my process of recovery from love addiction involves stepping BACK and seeing a progressively bigger picture at each juncture of my journey.. I take steps to correct myself at EARLIER stages with each new experience of that recovery.
At least I hope so, because now comes, if I got it right, a bit of a withdrawal period. A withdrawal period can involve a lot of bargaining with oneself. I can find myself saying, "Come on, it's not so bad, ______ won't do any harm. Lighten up!...." and on and on it goes. The thing that helps me through this withdrawal, I think, involves my embrace of the path I take to a robust extent. I see the path as the rightward fork in the road. I say rightward on purpose, too. I see the rightward path of the two paths as a commitment to a conservatism of the heart. NOT political conservatism. My views politically remain left of center. But, yeah, a conservatism of the heart. A conservatism of the attention I give to some women I find attractive.