Well, I can call bullshit on myself as well as anyone can call it on me, but this blog allows me to run this kind of stuff up the flagpole, at any rate. Suppose that accusation rang true. Could this represent an attempt by this young woman to "get" me to go into her place of employment while she worked there? I vowed to refrain from doing so since, I believe, last November. Why would she want me to do that? Why would she want me to go and see her work at her job? Well, thinking out loud once again, maybe she wanted to see if she could get me to go back on my word. I think she would do such a thing purely for shits and grins. Not like she was going to change anything in the way she presented herself to me if I did go back into her place of employment at a time she worked there. She NEVER, EVER attempts to talk to me when I find myself around her at her job. She would just want to see if she could get me to do it, and then she would have a laugh about it.
Well, that would suck. But I just figured today that, if such a thought resided in anything resembling reality, well, she seems the type that would just do whatever the fuck she wanted to do, whenever she felt like it. I don't have to capitulate to that kind of subtle, manipulative pressure. To help me to not capitulate that kind of thing, I set about recalling the reason I stopped going in there when I knew her to work there in the first place. I wrote a blog entry several months ago that told the story of "Anita, You're the Reason I'm Not In Prison." "Anita You're the Reason I'm Not In Prison," appears in issue number 4 of Richy Vegas Comics. I tell of a bad experience that I had in 1999 concerning some people at a restaurant where I used to work. The part of that story that relates to this young woman of today has to do with the fact that I'd tried to win over a girl who had expressed the fact that she had no romantic interest in me.
After I wrote that entry about the comic book story of "Anita..." I went to that business where that young woman worked, and, even though we really don't interact, I thought I could tell that she had read the blog entry that told a version of that story, and that the story resonated with her. No, I don't want to try to win this young woman over. I can't control any attempt she may or may not make to get me to go back on my word to let her go; to get me to go into where she works when I knew her to work there, but I can at least control my own actions. In that blog entry I concluded that I've never been won over by anyone who attempted to do so with me, and I can't really expect to win women over. Now, I've had some experience with women trying to win me over, but maybe this very, very attractive young woman has to deal with that kind of thing all the time. Regardless of whatever behaviors she visits on me, any attempt to win over someone who just does not have an attraction to me registers as very disrespectful behavior on my part, and that sentiment rings as true to me as I write this entry as it did when I first decided refrain from patronizing this young woman's place of employment at the times I knew her to work there.
If I'm wrong about the idea that this young woman really doesn't care for me as a love interest, then I apologize. My relative inexperience in actual sexual relations and actual relationships with women might account for such a mistake, but I am what I am. I can't recall any male friends from the time I attended college to this day who had any experiences with a woman where things started out in a very adversarial way and they wound up having sex with said woman and maybe even dating her. If any male friends since college did have an experience that resembled the features of my adversarial experiences with this young woman, and they did manage to get things going in a much more positive direction, surely such an experience would count as a crown jewel of their overall relationship with women-even if they had sex with such a person only once and never again-and most assuredly they would talk about such an experience to the point where I would remember. But no, I don't recall any stories like that from any male friends from the time I attended college to this day. Now I know that I can come across as different from a lot of men and a lot of people in general, and that may explain why I can have an experience with a woman that NONE of my male friends since college have ever, ever talked about. But still, if this young woman has a deep, abiding desire for me that I just don't see, well, she'll just have to forgive me for dropping the ball on this one, and furthermore, she has other dating options. Um, yeah, she surely does.