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Who's turning the screws now?

7/11/2016

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In my twenty-five minute story song, "Richy Vegas the Blind Assassin, p2" (available for your listening pleasure on my myspace link),
I talk about the people who sent Gil Wilson my way.  That's who I think is turning the screws now.

Two years ago, this business I talk about became a great problem for me to patronize.  After about a four and a half month ordeal, I figured out where a young woman who caught my attention was really coming from.  In the following months I figured that she was playing her fellow employees for fools as well as attempting to do so with me.

The problems at this business continued with other young women attempting to take up the challenge of beating me.  They all went down.

By far the most vexing one didn't know when to quit.  She spent about a year, off and on, trying to make me over into a bad guy for the purpose of creating drama in her life.

I wound down a phase of that conflict to my satisfaction, when my family started in on me.  All of a sudden I was being accused of criminal behavior, and my heated protestations where met with pressure from all of my family to change medications, talk to my psychiatrist, get a therapist.  That is what it is like for someone like me.  Someone antagonizes me and turns the screws, the problem lies with me.

I resolved that to my satisfaction as well, when this particularly persistent young woman at this business starts in again.  I make the right call, she backs off.

The past couple of months have seen some strange goings on at this business, maybe.  Did she change her mind about me?  Maybe it has to do with the Legend of Richy Vegas?  Which brings me to the people who sent Gil Wilson my way in 1992.  Did they get to her?  Did they try to recruit her for a great cause?  If so, I think they make a poor choice.

So now it comes to these people.  My innermost circle of friends make up the ones I deal with.  I can't talk about these issues with these friends in a candid, direct, frank manner.  That is not done.

I sense the employment of familiar tactics, though.  They want to see Richy Vegas again.  These tactics?  In my downward slide in 1992, I came to believe that certain coworkers at my job were brought into the loop at some point.  As my mental state deteriorated in the aftermath of letting go of Jenna, the dissociative interactions with those in my world became all encompassing as my hospitalization neared.  Who was in on it, who was not, who knows?

Seven years ago I committed to abstinence from drugs and alcohol.  I've had no alcohol and very little drug use since that time.  I remain committed, more so that when I began this process.

These friends, to a man, were not supportive of this decision.  The real glory days of Richy Vegas supposedly took place in the days before I went on psych meds.  The heavy drinking and drug use could sometimes beat the psych meds in ways I won't elaborate on.  If there was any more of Richy Vegas to be had, it was at these times.

That would be one possible explanation for the lack of support from these friends.  I would be out and out criticized that I'd made a bad move, be offered drugs as if my decision was of no importance to them, that kind of thing.  I committed to abstinence from drugs and alcohol to improve my relationship with women.  That has been a very, very tough slog.

In my seven years of sobriety, I have not had any experiences that recall earlier times when the Legend of Richy Vegas was  supposedly in full effect.  I don't think anyone in my world should expect a return to any of that. I see what's going on in my world, I make as intelligent a decision about whatever I perceive as I can, and then something else comes along.  No miracles, no magic, no more Richy Vegas.  It's time to stand down.  I made a change seven years ago. It's time everyone else got up to speed.  It's over.
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