Will this torture never end? I can't find my copy of Seven Samurai. What the fuck is this shit? A couple of weeks ago I couldn't find my DVD remote for the life of me. A few days later, there it sat in a usual place. I figured that my housecleaner had found it and put it there.
But my Seven Samurai DVD? That's fucking hardball. That is fucking low. Only a lowlife like the Invisible Woman can be the reason behind my missing Seven Samurai DVD.
What if I actually saw this person in real life? Like during SXSW, or in a city where these people hang, like New York of LA. If I saw her in a restaurant I was eating at or at a museum or something, I'd probably be shit scared to death. She's really pretty, which is bad enough, but also she's a big fucking deal to boot. My pecker would probably shrivel with like it was in an ice water bath to a quarter it's nachul size, and my balls would go up into the my stomach, and it would be as if my bloated, 262 pound, 52 years old ass stood naked before a goddess of the realm. She could judge me to be some unworthy piece of shit, act as if she has no clue as to who I am-whether or not she actually did know who I was- and I'm supposed to take that kind of chance if I ever saw her in public. Fuck me, like hell I would!
Oh god, and shit of mine keeps coming up missing. The Badfinger CD never turned up. I just wanted to see an actor's name on the Seven Samurai box. It was the guy who played Kambei Shimada, the leader of the Samurai. He's in a Zatoichi movie I'm watching now as well. But no, I now live in a world where I can't count on my Seven Samurai DVD being where I last remembered it, or any other logical place, either. Her parents must be proud. Their big deal Pop star daughter is spending her days fucking with a middle-aged mentally ill guy's head.
I hope she likes the movie. I really do. I noticed that my Once Upon a Time In the West DVD is in the same stack of DVDs as where my Seven Samurai DVD was supposed to be, so maybe she's already seen that one. It's a good one, right Baby?
But my Seven Samurai DVD? That's fucking hardball. That is fucking low. Only a lowlife like the Invisible Woman can be the reason behind my missing Seven Samurai DVD.
What if I actually saw this person in real life? Like during SXSW, or in a city where these people hang, like New York of LA. If I saw her in a restaurant I was eating at or at a museum or something, I'd probably be shit scared to death. She's really pretty, which is bad enough, but also she's a big fucking deal to boot. My pecker would probably shrivel with like it was in an ice water bath to a quarter it's nachul size, and my balls would go up into the my stomach, and it would be as if my bloated, 262 pound, 52 years old ass stood naked before a goddess of the realm. She could judge me to be some unworthy piece of shit, act as if she has no clue as to who I am-whether or not she actually did know who I was- and I'm supposed to take that kind of chance if I ever saw her in public. Fuck me, like hell I would!
Oh god, and shit of mine keeps coming up missing. The Badfinger CD never turned up. I just wanted to see an actor's name on the Seven Samurai box. It was the guy who played Kambei Shimada, the leader of the Samurai. He's in a Zatoichi movie I'm watching now as well. But no, I now live in a world where I can't count on my Seven Samurai DVD being where I last remembered it, or any other logical place, either. Her parents must be proud. Their big deal Pop star daughter is spending her days fucking with a middle-aged mentally ill guy's head.
I hope she likes the movie. I really do. I noticed that my Once Upon a Time In the West DVD is in the same stack of DVDs as where my Seven Samurai DVD was supposed to be, so maybe she's already seen that one. It's a good one, right Baby?
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