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Where has cooperating got me?

11/18/2018

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People should see my visitor tallies for this past week.  They've pretty much doubled.  I was going on this space to write about the subject of this entry's title, and the numbers jumped out.  Wow!  And so, I must ask, did cooperating get me these numbers?  I would like to think that I did not hurt anyone when I refused to go along this time.  Hurting people, and especially women, has been a problem when I felt rebellious in the past and did things I shouldn't have done.  

I got back from Houston on Sunday afternoon.  I made my way to some of my usual haunts later in the day.  I've written about how I've entertained the notion that I had a web presence that I didn't know about.  The kind of dissociative paranoia about this notion in my head cropped up in my interactions with women in Houston and on the way there and back; in convenience stores with female staff and customers, in a restaurant upon arrival in Houston, at Zine Fest Houston itself.  When I went to my usual haunts once I got back, the usual suspects seemed to be glad to see me.  They know who they are.

If that's true, that's pretty fucked up.  Can I kind of buck this shit without doing anything hurtful to anyone?  I would like to.  A few minutes ago I looked on IMDB.com at a gallery of celebrity power couples.  It kind of made me sick to look at those smug fucks on the red carpet and whatnot.  I wanted to shoot a few gobs of scuzz on my phone in protest.  The whole vibe I picked up at my usual haunts from the usual suspects seemed to have something to do with me finding luv.  I was reasonably polite to the women at Zine Fest and other places, and I even had something of a good time even, and I thought that was was why the usual suspects seemed glad to see me i.e. that the notion that, though I may or may not have been the victim of some shitbird cyber-bullying campaign, it hasn't affected how I relate to women in general and on a one to one basis. 

Anyway, this is pretty fucked up, but new, terrain for me, so I will ask my readers for some help in my decision making.  Should I cooperate and try to find love amidst all of this madness, or should I just dump a few plumes of scuzz on my phone with a picture of a Hollywood power couple on it?  Just write one word, "luv" or "scuzz," in the comments section below and I will take my readers' poll under advisement as to my final decision. 
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