Whelp, I turned fifty-six today. In some ways, I might as well celebrate my twentieth birthday as my fifty-sixth. I say so because I still have strong feelings for women in my world, and these women still seem just as unavailable to me these days as the women I fixated on at the ages of nineteen going on twenty.
I've decided to patronize that business where the young woman used to work as of a few months ago. That is, I've decided to go in there at the times she used to work there. I went there today, she wasn't there, but I still don't know whether she's moved on or not. That will take a few more trips to find out, I guess.
As my tendency to fixate on very attractive women progressed into my twenties, I made a lot of bad decisions about these women. I've talked about these decisions extensively here, and I won't go into them now. I can now say that I tend to make very intelligent decisions about very attractive young women I think about these days. At least, I think I make very intelligent decisions about such women. In fact, I often say, my relationship with women IS intelligent decisions these days.
Now, these decisions, all of them, pretty much, have nothing to do with love, girlfriends, or relationships, yes or no, for or against. These decisions uniformly have to do with treating the person as well as I can, but then coming to a day when I just cut them loose. That's about it. I count decisions of that nature where the other party or parties totally succeeded in playing whatever cruel games they wanted to play, but where I just cut my losses and moved on. I wish I could draw on some great dating history that contained lots of great, affirming experiences with these women, but I don't have such a history, for the most part. I mainly have a history these days where I just stay out of trouble and don't get hurt.
It seems as if dragging things out serves to my advantage in my decision making. I hope so, in the case of this young woman I've written extensively about this past year-plus or so. I've certainly dragged things out with this one. Yeah, I tend to do pretty good when I don't make decisions in haste. It seems counter-intuitive to drag things out like I do, but I don't seem to regret it in the end.
I've decided to patronize that business where the young woman used to work as of a few months ago. That is, I've decided to go in there at the times she used to work there. I went there today, she wasn't there, but I still don't know whether she's moved on or not. That will take a few more trips to find out, I guess.
As my tendency to fixate on very attractive women progressed into my twenties, I made a lot of bad decisions about these women. I've talked about these decisions extensively here, and I won't go into them now. I can now say that I tend to make very intelligent decisions about very attractive young women I think about these days. At least, I think I make very intelligent decisions about such women. In fact, I often say, my relationship with women IS intelligent decisions these days.
Now, these decisions, all of them, pretty much, have nothing to do with love, girlfriends, or relationships, yes or no, for or against. These decisions uniformly have to do with treating the person as well as I can, but then coming to a day when I just cut them loose. That's about it. I count decisions of that nature where the other party or parties totally succeeded in playing whatever cruel games they wanted to play, but where I just cut my losses and moved on. I wish I could draw on some great dating history that contained lots of great, affirming experiences with these women, but I don't have such a history, for the most part. I mainly have a history these days where I just stay out of trouble and don't get hurt.
It seems as if dragging things out serves to my advantage in my decision making. I hope so, in the case of this young woman I've written extensively about this past year-plus or so. I've certainly dragged things out with this one. Yeah, I tend to do pretty good when I don't make decisions in haste. It seems counter-intuitive to drag things out like I do, but I don't seem to regret it in the end.
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