A couple of days ago my thoughts turned to a particular young woman in my world. I contemplated putting myself out there somehow for her sake...or for my sake...or for love's sake, whatever. Back around 2009 to 2012, or thereabouts, I would just ask such women out in front of God and everyone. These women all tended to work at businesses I patronized, the difference in our ages typically spanned a great number of years, and, oh yes, none of them went out with me.
The first couple of times I would make such an overture to such a young woman, I guess that took quite a bit of courage. But, after getting shot down over and over again, what started out as a supreme act of courage may have come off as more of a farcical nuisance to these women and the various employees and management at these businesses. When one of these girls brought this habit up when I ran into her at a sushi place, I had to agree with her tone of annoyance and just say that my social circle at the time didn't exactly have a wonderfully rich pool of women to choose from.
So, I thought about this young woman in my world. Since those days of just asking these young women out in front of God and everyone, I decided to try going the other way with it. I mean that, starting in September of 2012, I decided to revive the, "What if I turned my back on love?" experiment from my younger days of 1988. I'm much more satisfied with the outcomes of these "deals" I find myself having to negotiate my way through since I adopted that approach. Since 2013 I've put in a few (3) Facebook friend requests for some women who worked at these businesses, but that's about all.
So, this woman I brought up at the beginning of this post: I couldn't find her on Facebook. What to do? Should I invite her to any upcoming music shows or open mikes? Should I give her a comic book and encourage her to contact me through the URL posted on the cover? Should I just ask her out in front of God and everyone?
I thought, "Would it really signify a great deal of courage if I asked her out at this point? Given that I always came up empty before when I approached women at these businesses, what would make for a more courageous move? Maybe just leaving her alone and not fucking with her would be a more courageous move at this point." So the train of thought started going in that direction, and I decided to not fuck with this deal with this young woman. A lot of the deals with the young women in the past I brought up a few paragraphs ago looked pretty righteous to me as well, only for me to come up empty. So, I decided to not ask this young woman out or make any other moves in that direction to her, because I decided that just letting go of her at this point demonstrated more courage than asking her out.
I approached seven women for social purposes last year. They ranged in ages from the early twenties to close to my age. I came up empty with all of them, but none of the approaches had the high tension quality of asking a waitress or barista or other retail employee out at their place of employment. I remember seeing a news clip of an elderly woman who'd been married to the same man for an insane number of years, like over sixty years or something, and she emphatically emphasized that if she'd never met her husband, that she could have just as easily met someone else and had just as much success. That really affected my decision to let this young woman at this business I patronize go. Even though I didn't connect with any of the seven women last year, my decision to approach them sufficiently demonstrated that I was not so afraid of rejection that I couldn't approach anyone, and it also brought to mind that I could have probably been just as happy with a couple of those women as I fantasized about how happy I could be with this particular young woman.
The first couple of times I would make such an overture to such a young woman, I guess that took quite a bit of courage. But, after getting shot down over and over again, what started out as a supreme act of courage may have come off as more of a farcical nuisance to these women and the various employees and management at these businesses. When one of these girls brought this habit up when I ran into her at a sushi place, I had to agree with her tone of annoyance and just say that my social circle at the time didn't exactly have a wonderfully rich pool of women to choose from.
So, I thought about this young woman in my world. Since those days of just asking these young women out in front of God and everyone, I decided to try going the other way with it. I mean that, starting in September of 2012, I decided to revive the, "What if I turned my back on love?" experiment from my younger days of 1988. I'm much more satisfied with the outcomes of these "deals" I find myself having to negotiate my way through since I adopted that approach. Since 2013 I've put in a few (3) Facebook friend requests for some women who worked at these businesses, but that's about all.
So, this woman I brought up at the beginning of this post: I couldn't find her on Facebook. What to do? Should I invite her to any upcoming music shows or open mikes? Should I give her a comic book and encourage her to contact me through the URL posted on the cover? Should I just ask her out in front of God and everyone?
I thought, "Would it really signify a great deal of courage if I asked her out at this point? Given that I always came up empty before when I approached women at these businesses, what would make for a more courageous move? Maybe just leaving her alone and not fucking with her would be a more courageous move at this point." So the train of thought started going in that direction, and I decided to not fuck with this deal with this young woman. A lot of the deals with the young women in the past I brought up a few paragraphs ago looked pretty righteous to me as well, only for me to come up empty. So, I decided to not ask this young woman out or make any other moves in that direction to her, because I decided that just letting go of her at this point demonstrated more courage than asking her out.
I approached seven women for social purposes last year. They ranged in ages from the early twenties to close to my age. I came up empty with all of them, but none of the approaches had the high tension quality of asking a waitress or barista or other retail employee out at their place of employment. I remember seeing a news clip of an elderly woman who'd been married to the same man for an insane number of years, like over sixty years or something, and she emphatically emphasized that if she'd never met her husband, that she could have just as easily met someone else and had just as much success. That really affected my decision to let this young woman at this business I patronize go. Even though I didn't connect with any of the seven women last year, my decision to approach them sufficiently demonstrated that I was not so afraid of rejection that I couldn't approach anyone, and it also brought to mind that I could have probably been just as happy with a couple of those women as I fantasized about how happy I could be with this particular young woman.
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