This situation I've gone on about for these past couple of weeks involving this young woman at this business has at least three possible explanations of how it started in the first place. One explanation involves the notion that it all resides in my head; that I just mistakenly got the impression that other female employees at the business wanted to give me the impression that I had done something wrong in going on my way and not patronizing this business when I knew this young woman would work there. I mean, nobody ever came out and told me to go to this woman and let her know she could count on me etc. I'm not a mind reader either, so maybe I just had a crazy idea in my head come from nowhere. Another possibility involves the notion that my decision to not be around this person anymore really put her into a distressed state of mind due to this situation with the coronavirus. That may hold some truth, but I still have the right to go on my way if I wish. That leads to my third possible scenario. The third possible scenario involves the notion that this young woman just wanted our old deal back. So, I would get the impression that she really wants me patronizing her business when I would know her to work there so she could have something of the life she had before all this shit hit the fan. Not unlikely, but I don't particularly like the idea of going back to the old deal.
The old deal just involved me admiring her from afar, while she pretty much got to do whatever she wanted in the conduct of her personal affairs. Not much in the old deal for me. I guess I might write more stuff about her from time to time, and that made up a lot of the old deal, but I don't particularly want to show up at her place of employment when I knew her to work there as of a couple of months ago. My distress over her supposed distress involved the thought that she wanted something more than the old deal in place, and that "all" I had to do was show up at her job and try to get face time with her and try to get something going. Those posts of the past two weeks about following my buddha revealed a distressed state of mind on my part over my next course of action. I feel a lot more calm about my stated course of action- to refrain from trying to see her- particularly after I articulated in my mind the notion that this little so-and-so just wanted things to remain the same.
I don't really care to speculate on this forum what she might have moved on to by now. I don't know if she still works there, and I don't really care to find that out. I hope she enjoys good health and that her loved ones, both family and friends, are all in good shape as well. I think those closer to her would find themselves in a better position to give her whatever sort of support she needs to get through during this time than I can. That's about all i have to say.
The old deal just involved me admiring her from afar, while she pretty much got to do whatever she wanted in the conduct of her personal affairs. Not much in the old deal for me. I guess I might write more stuff about her from time to time, and that made up a lot of the old deal, but I don't particularly want to show up at her place of employment when I knew her to work there as of a couple of months ago. My distress over her supposed distress involved the thought that she wanted something more than the old deal in place, and that "all" I had to do was show up at her job and try to get face time with her and try to get something going. Those posts of the past two weeks about following my buddha revealed a distressed state of mind on my part over my next course of action. I feel a lot more calm about my stated course of action- to refrain from trying to see her- particularly after I articulated in my mind the notion that this little so-and-so just wanted things to remain the same.
I don't really care to speculate on this forum what she might have moved on to by now. I don't know if she still works there, and I don't really care to find that out. I hope she enjoys good health and that her loved ones, both family and friends, are all in good shape as well. I think those closer to her would find themselves in a better position to give her whatever sort of support she needs to get through during this time than I can. That's about all i have to say.
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