The old deal just involved me admiring her from afar, while she pretty much got to do whatever she wanted in the conduct of her personal affairs. Not much in the old deal for me. I guess I might write more stuff about her from time to time, and that made up a lot of the old deal, but I don't particularly want to show up at her place of employment when I knew her to work there as of a couple of months ago. My distress over her supposed distress involved the thought that she wanted something more than the old deal in place, and that "all" I had to do was show up at her job and try to get face time with her and try to get something going. Those posts of the past two weeks about following my buddha revealed a distressed state of mind on my part over my next course of action. I feel a lot more calm about my stated course of action- to refrain from trying to see her- particularly after I articulated in my mind the notion that this little so-and-so just wanted things to remain the same.
I don't really care to speculate on this forum what she might have moved on to by now. I don't know if she still works there, and I don't really care to find that out. I hope she enjoys good health and that her loved ones, both family and friends, are all in good shape as well. I think those closer to her would find themselves in a better position to give her whatever sort of support she needs to get through during this time than I can. That's about all i have to say.