I think the last three love interests that really got under my skin got my A game. They all had in common the quality of being, pretty much, unavailable. There never was a chance for me to get with any of those three from day zero to day one. None the less, I think I negotiated my way through these bad deals in a, dare I say, highly professional manner. The last unavailable woman deal was the Invisible Woman. Again, what looked like something that could have gone on forever had a very finite beginning and end. I credit my coping skills with bringing that whole state of affairs to a satisfactory conclusion.
But, there's a flip side to the unavailable woman deal. The deal where the love interest appears to represent a very tangible, touchable possibility of working out. Yes Virginia, that can be a crash-and-burn unavailable woman deal too. I recall the first time this happened in high school. I became so caught up in the idea of missing out somehow with someone whom I actually went out on dates with, and actually kissed on the mouth, and, and.... I became just as fixated on her as someone before her who, right off the bat, seemed totally unattainable.
Dig: I handled the Invisible Woman unavailable woman deal like a pro, right? How so? By vowing to do as little as possible about it as I could. By slowing things down and picking my spots. By saying to myself, the normal course of action for me in these situations is to accommodate this idea of this person in my head and my heart, but to understand also that one day, sooner rather than later most likely, I'm going to send that idea of that person on its way. And so I did. As far as my overall relationship with women is concerned, the only decisions I want to make are intelligent decisions. Intelligent decisions about attractive women and my world usually don't have anything to do with love, sex, girlfriend, and or relationship for or against. Intelligent decisions about the most desirable women in my world invariably involve just one decision, "When do I cut her loose? Sooner, later, yesterday?"
I don't see why, if the Invisible Woman can get my A game, which consists of just letting this notion of this person go into the void, why someone whom I am in actual semi-regular contact with can't get the same consideration. I remember one of these early- twenty-something types at one of these businesses I patronize giving me an I-long-for-you-look, and how when I walked by them the next time I saw them in there, how the expression on their face seemed to betray an effort to brace themselves for the flood of obsessive attention from me that was surely forthcoming, and, nope, not gonna happen.
Why can't I just let someone who seems to represent a genuine possibility go by the wayside as well? Maybe my destiny is a life of lovelorn longing for those I can't have, and my willingness to lose out on a real possibility is just my way of shooting myself in the foot out of some reactive defiance, but I'm willing to take that chance.
But, there's a flip side to the unavailable woman deal. The deal where the love interest appears to represent a very tangible, touchable possibility of working out. Yes Virginia, that can be a crash-and-burn unavailable woman deal too. I recall the first time this happened in high school. I became so caught up in the idea of missing out somehow with someone whom I actually went out on dates with, and actually kissed on the mouth, and, and.... I became just as fixated on her as someone before her who, right off the bat, seemed totally unattainable.
Dig: I handled the Invisible Woman unavailable woman deal like a pro, right? How so? By vowing to do as little as possible about it as I could. By slowing things down and picking my spots. By saying to myself, the normal course of action for me in these situations is to accommodate this idea of this person in my head and my heart, but to understand also that one day, sooner rather than later most likely, I'm going to send that idea of that person on its way. And so I did. As far as my overall relationship with women is concerned, the only decisions I want to make are intelligent decisions. Intelligent decisions about attractive women and my world usually don't have anything to do with love, sex, girlfriend, and or relationship for or against. Intelligent decisions about the most desirable women in my world invariably involve just one decision, "When do I cut her loose? Sooner, later, yesterday?"
I don't see why, if the Invisible Woman can get my A game, which consists of just letting this notion of this person go into the void, why someone whom I am in actual semi-regular contact with can't get the same consideration. I remember one of these early- twenty-something types at one of these businesses I patronize giving me an I-long-for-you-look, and how when I walked by them the next time I saw them in there, how the expression on their face seemed to betray an effort to brace themselves for the flood of obsessive attention from me that was surely forthcoming, and, nope, not gonna happen.
Why can't I just let someone who seems to represent a genuine possibility go by the wayside as well? Maybe my destiny is a life of lovelorn longing for those I can't have, and my willingness to lose out on a real possibility is just my way of shooting myself in the foot out of some reactive defiance, but I'm willing to take that chance.
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