If what I believe to be true about this blog is actually true, then there's certain people in my day to day world who are used to knowing my mind. My last post talked about how I might try to look into the notion that this young woman I've been writing about could have an interest in me after all. After poking my head out of the sand these past couple of days, I've concluded that this young woman has no interest in me whatsoever. I know, I know. I've talked so much about letting this person go, and my last post marked a reversal in that course, but what can I say. Nobody's perfect.
My last post talked about how I went to Houston Zine Fest last weekend. Several years ago I sold one of my CDs to a woman at this event. She liked it enough to contact me via email. Long story short, I went to visit her in the town she lived in at the time in late 2015. She had a lot of personal issues that I won't go into, but I'lll say that there was this one statement she made that killed the deal for me as much as anything else. The first time she said, "I don't compete for men," was on the phone before I left for my trip to her town. I could tell over the phone that she had a smirk in her voice when she said it. She said it again on our date once I'd arrived. This time I could see the smirk on her face, as well as hear it in her voice. I could have said, "I've built up my life as a single person to the point where I very much enjoy lots of activities by myself, and you are competing with this life I've built up. And, that kind of attitude towards me that statement reveals won't cut it as competition between taking on your bullshit and staying with the life I have." Whew! That's a mouthful.
It'd be nice if I could meet someone at one of these kinds of events. Someone who seemed really cool and had her shit together and all of that. Many years ago I had the occasion to hang out with this one guy who kept going on about, "I think I've met someone." I'd heard so many stories about how insecure he was about rejection, which had been happening a lot to him at this time, that I took his statement with a grain of salt.
If I had the slightest inkling of a notion that I may have, maybe, met someone, the last thing I'd want to do is trumpet it around like this guy did. It'd be great to meet someone at one of these Zine Fest events or Comic Conventions, but I don't know that I'd want to make an announcement that I'd met someone right off the bat. I wouldn't want to count my chickens before they are hatched. I mean, if it was someone from say, Houston, or San Antonio, that'd be cool. Dallas, or Forth Worth, or Corpus Christie, for example, might be a bit of a hike on a regular basis.
On the other hand, if this person seemed really cool, and intelligent, and awesome, and interesting, and talented.... but I digress. Far be it from me to be so presumptuous about another person I didn't really know and their possible situations in all kinds of areas of their life. You see, if this girl I'd been going on about these past couple of months had done something like light up with a beautiful smile when she saw me and greeted me warmly, that really would have been something. That girl did look at me in a way one time that made me think she'd read or heard about the "Legend of Richy Vegas" issue where I speculate on what might have gone on around me after I'd made thing right with Jenna in 1992, but, that girl I've been writing about had accumulated too much baggage for me by then. Man, if I could just meet someone I didn't know really at all, who didn't have any psychic baggage with our deal, but who just really lit up when she saw me and said "hi" like it has happened sometimes in the past with me....Man, that'd be awesome.
My last post talked about how I went to Houston Zine Fest last weekend. Several years ago I sold one of my CDs to a woman at this event. She liked it enough to contact me via email. Long story short, I went to visit her in the town she lived in at the time in late 2015. She had a lot of personal issues that I won't go into, but I'lll say that there was this one statement she made that killed the deal for me as much as anything else. The first time she said, "I don't compete for men," was on the phone before I left for my trip to her town. I could tell over the phone that she had a smirk in her voice when she said it. She said it again on our date once I'd arrived. This time I could see the smirk on her face, as well as hear it in her voice. I could have said, "I've built up my life as a single person to the point where I very much enjoy lots of activities by myself, and you are competing with this life I've built up. And, that kind of attitude towards me that statement reveals won't cut it as competition between taking on your bullshit and staying with the life I have." Whew! That's a mouthful.
It'd be nice if I could meet someone at one of these kinds of events. Someone who seemed really cool and had her shit together and all of that. Many years ago I had the occasion to hang out with this one guy who kept going on about, "I think I've met someone." I'd heard so many stories about how insecure he was about rejection, which had been happening a lot to him at this time, that I took his statement with a grain of salt.
If I had the slightest inkling of a notion that I may have, maybe, met someone, the last thing I'd want to do is trumpet it around like this guy did. It'd be great to meet someone at one of these Zine Fest events or Comic Conventions, but I don't know that I'd want to make an announcement that I'd met someone right off the bat. I wouldn't want to count my chickens before they are hatched. I mean, if it was someone from say, Houston, or San Antonio, that'd be cool. Dallas, or Forth Worth, or Corpus Christie, for example, might be a bit of a hike on a regular basis.
On the other hand, if this person seemed really cool, and intelligent, and awesome, and interesting, and talented.... but I digress. Far be it from me to be so presumptuous about another person I didn't really know and their possible situations in all kinds of areas of their life. You see, if this girl I'd been going on about these past couple of months had done something like light up with a beautiful smile when she saw me and greeted me warmly, that really would have been something. That girl did look at me in a way one time that made me think she'd read or heard about the "Legend of Richy Vegas" issue where I speculate on what might have gone on around me after I'd made thing right with Jenna in 1992, but, that girl I've been writing about had accumulated too much baggage for me by then. Man, if I could just meet someone I didn't know really at all, who didn't have any psychic baggage with our deal, but who just really lit up when she saw me and said "hi" like it has happened sometimes in the past with me....Man, that'd be awesome.
RSS Feed
