"But I will go down with the ship
and I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be...`'
-from "White Flag," a song by Dido
Well, that may be a fine song for Dido to sing, but in my personal experience, such a sentiment from me in regards to quite a few women in my past really didn't go over very well (he said understatedly). Boy, people talk about the Police's "Every Breath You Take" as the ultimate stalker anthem, but Dido provides some stiff competition with this one. The song was written by a bunch of dudes, natch.
I'm in the process of cutting that flirtatious barista loose and accepting an outcome where we don't become boyfriend and girlfriend. If doing things such as refraining from showing up at that coffee shop at times when I know her to work there, and maybe coming off a LITTLE cool whenever I do see her; if such behaviors only serve to alienate her somehow, then that's a chance I'm willing to take. Going the other way with our deal, as in the above Dido lyrics, is just not acceptable to me these days.
There's the ancient-history-negative-examples provided by my experiences with Veronica, Wanda, Gwen, Jenna et al., but I also have some more recent history where I just blew off a couple of situations and let it all go by the wayside, and the two women I saw long after such decisions acted very glad to see me, so there's that. If this barista acts alienated, hurt, and/or offended by my decision to blow her off, well, I've had several experiences where such a stance from such a person only served to provide a DEAD GIVEAWAY to me that they were up to no good all along.
If I'm wrong, and she acts hurt, alienated, and offended that I blew off any remaining vestiges of romantic pursuit regarding her because she truly cares for me, then she will represent a truly unique, one of a kind example of that being the case. In all of my experiences of "turning my back on love," I've never actually come away with the conclusion that I did indeed turn my back on love. Never. She will be the first. I'm turning sixty next month. She will be the first.
Think about it. It seems very likely, that even if she cared for me and wanted me to try and get with her in a more ardent, persistent fashion than I have done so far; it seems to me she would understand that I'm erring on the side of caution for all the right reasons. And in erring on the side of caution, I would show that I care about her wellbeing much more than if I chased her to the ends of the earth and back.
and I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be...`'
-from "White Flag," a song by Dido
Well, that may be a fine song for Dido to sing, but in my personal experience, such a sentiment from me in regards to quite a few women in my past really didn't go over very well (he said understatedly). Boy, people talk about the Police's "Every Breath You Take" as the ultimate stalker anthem, but Dido provides some stiff competition with this one. The song was written by a bunch of dudes, natch.
I'm in the process of cutting that flirtatious barista loose and accepting an outcome where we don't become boyfriend and girlfriend. If doing things such as refraining from showing up at that coffee shop at times when I know her to work there, and maybe coming off a LITTLE cool whenever I do see her; if such behaviors only serve to alienate her somehow, then that's a chance I'm willing to take. Going the other way with our deal, as in the above Dido lyrics, is just not acceptable to me these days.
There's the ancient-history-negative-examples provided by my experiences with Veronica, Wanda, Gwen, Jenna et al., but I also have some more recent history where I just blew off a couple of situations and let it all go by the wayside, and the two women I saw long after such decisions acted very glad to see me, so there's that. If this barista acts alienated, hurt, and/or offended by my decision to blow her off, well, I've had several experiences where such a stance from such a person only served to provide a DEAD GIVEAWAY to me that they were up to no good all along.
If I'm wrong, and she acts hurt, alienated, and offended that I blew off any remaining vestiges of romantic pursuit regarding her because she truly cares for me, then she will represent a truly unique, one of a kind example of that being the case. In all of my experiences of "turning my back on love," I've never actually come away with the conclusion that I did indeed turn my back on love. Never. She will be the first. I'm turning sixty next month. She will be the first.
Think about it. It seems very likely, that even if she cared for me and wanted me to try and get with her in a more ardent, persistent fashion than I have done so far; it seems to me she would understand that I'm erring on the side of caution for all the right reasons. And in erring on the side of caution, I would show that I care about her wellbeing much more than if I chased her to the ends of the earth and back.
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