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Trying to take the high road

9/24/2021

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My last post brought up the point that I've never had the opportunity to cash in on any situation where I felt compelled to let go of a love interest that just would not work out.  As a matter of fact, several of the very worst experiences I've ever had in my life in my relationship with women followed in the wake of what, even to this day, seems to constitute quite exemplary behaviors on my part.  In my last post I brought up a desire i had to rewrite the rules of what constituted a reward and who becomes the person to bestow that reward on me.  I concluded that I would reward myself with things such as comic books or CD's for acceptable behavior in this particular circumstance.  I would reward myself in such ways instead of waiting for the women in my world to bestow some kind of boon upon me.

To make myself the primary bestower of rewards sets up a whole new set of rules, it might seem, particularly a whole new set of rules about what I could bring up on this blog.  As I say in the title of this post, I will try to take the high road on this issue, and not single any one person out.  That means that the reader may have to forgive me for my lack of specific, concrete examples that might better illustrate whatever point I want to illustrate, but here goes.

I've never dated someone who initially came at me in an adversarial manner.  Furthermore, I've never known a male friend, coworker, or casual acquaintance who ever had a story to tell where they dated a woman or girl who came at them in an adversarial manner.  That record stands from my college days to this very day, September, 24th, 2021.  Never happened.  I'm not saying that it's never happened with anyone, anywhere, just not for me or any male peer I've ever known in any capacity.  

I've had adversarial situations arise between myself and a young woman that rose to the point where I felt the need to demonstrate a willingness to defend myself from physical assault from overly zealous young men who seemed driven by a misguided sense of chivalry that a person or persons, known or unknown, instilled in them somehow.  I'm not singling any one person out, because I've dealt with such situations from the mid-80's to the present day.  I've certainly never, ever dated a young woman or girl who went to this place with me.

That said, I think any effort I make to let go of such a woman or girl, given that I now assume responsibly for rewarding myself; I think I would do well to at least point out some of the elements in play in some of these situations.  That would include all kinds of efforts on their part at harassment and intimidation that rise to, at times, the threat of physical violence against me.  Hey, all in the name of letting go a love interest who wants nothing more than for me to let them go so we can both get on with our lives.  Right?  And since I've rewritten the rules as to who gets to reward me for exemplary, high-road behavior, that frees up a lot of topics that used lay buried underneath the surface.  All in the name of letting go.  All in the name of loving these kinds of women the best way I know how.
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