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This is kind of a big deal

9/26/2019

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I've written about how I've never dated any women whom I believed came at me in an adversarial manner.  This is true.  I talked to a male friend the other night, and we both agreed that we'd never known of a guy friend who dated someone who had it in for them at first.  He said he'd never dated someone that shook out like that, so it's not just my own lack of experience and supposed ineptitude with women that explains why I've never dated someone like that, even though I've felt that many, many women have come after me initially in an adversarial manner.

What definitely has happened though, is that quite a number of women in my past lives came to see that I was not the bad guy they'd initially made me out to be, and quite a number of women came to care for me a great deal, even though I never went on one date with any of them.  This really happened in earnest when I attended grad school at SVA in New York City in 1990/91.  I pretty much had a nervous breakdown that time, and I was still seen as a loose cannon after my moment, but I do feel as if a lot of the young women in that school saw me in a different light than before. 

So, to say that many women in my past cared for me is not a small thing.  Regardless of what paths the women in my world take in their personal lives, I think I can say that some of them care for me a bit- maybe even more than a bit.  It's a lot to ask of a young woman to actually date me, but to have the sense that, like I said in my last post, that such a person cares for me enough to be on my side in life is a big deal to me.

And, the young woman I've been writing about has me on her side too, regardless of how things shake out in the end.  Like I said, an expectation of a romantic love relationship from such stuff seems like too much to ask, but if I get off of the idea that anything short of a full blown romantic love relationship just does not count for anything, well there you are.
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