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The times I've turned a corner with someone I care for

7/6/2023

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I've turned a corner with "Wanda," Sara, "Linda," "Gwen," Anne Marie, "Jenna," "Snolly," that former cashier at that grocery store I've patronized, and, I feel, with this famous woman I've been writing about for these past several months.  Sometimes I've behaved in less than wonderful ways with someone after such a turning point, as was the case with Wanda.  Sometimes the love interest didn't like my behavior at some point after, but what's done is done, as was the case with Linda.  Other times, I just bailed because I felt stuck in the mud in spite of all I did to bring things to a turning point, as was the case with Sara, Anne Marie, and that former cashier from that grocery store.

If I felt stuck again at any point after I felt as if I moved heaven and earth to make things better with someone, the option to bail on the whole deal is so much more acceptable to me than to engage in behaviors that display my dissatisfaction with things in a really shitty way to someone I care for.  I just get so mad and frustrated with these women sometimes.  

I've felt, and still feel, to a great extent, stuck in the mud in regards to this famous person.  But, you know what, we're both far enough along in our personal development, I feel, that if either or both of us wants out, right now, we should both be cool with the other party's decision to bail.  If she read my last post, and didn't like what I had to say, and she wanted to move on to greener pastures, that's her right. It's my right too.

I've never, ever dated someone who came at me in the adversarial manner in which I feel this famous person came at me.  I've had quite a number of women do this to me. I've been able to turn a corner with quite a few of them, but I've never gone the whole way with them.  This ain't no rom-com, it's my life.  It's my prerogative whether or not I want to try to go any further, and it's her prerogative whether or not to go any further as well. 

Like I've said, I've had so many women come at me locked and loaded for bear, and I don't think any of these women, or any male friends or male acquaintances I've known, have had these experiences to the extent that I've had.  I've never, ever even had male friends or acquaintances tell a story about turning such a situation one hundred and eighty degrees to their favor. Never.  So, that might mean that nearly everyone who reads this blog doesn't have even close to the experiences I've had with these situations.

The insight that even though, yes, I've never dated someone who full on came at me in this adversarial manner I'm now so familiar with, and that I've never been able to get advice from any other guy as to how to proceed in a constructive way, because I've never even met, to the best of my knowledge, any guy who has been in this same place, over and over and over again; the insight that I've managed to turn a corner with LOTS of these women, nonetheless; that's my insight and my insight alone to discover, to the best of my knowledge. I thought that thought this afternoon.

If this famous person has already decided to quit this deal, I'm okay with that. I'm not happy if she's decided to bail, but I can live with that. If she has not, I'm ready to go on further with it. I've sent some postcards to her fan club address, I could send a few more.  I don't really need to go into the absurdity of what that previous sentence is supposed to convey.  Do I?  But yeah, I've been over the craziness of all of this, so no need to go further with that.  
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