That young woman seems to have returned to working at that business I patronize on a regular basis. That strikes me as kind of funny, because in this past couple of weeks or so, I found my mind going other places that didn't have anything to do with her, and now she's back, I guess. That's not necessarily a bad thing, though. I've always been very fond of her, and I still care for her a great deal. Like Cheyenne (played by Jason Robards) said to Jill (played by Claudia Cardinale) in Once Upon a Time In The West, "You don't know how happy it makes a man to see a woman like you. Just to look at her." One does not end a paragraph with a quotation, so I will just say to an amen to Jason Robards on that sentiment.
I think that my appeal to Sara all those years ago comes down to a couple of points: 1) That I demonstrated an ability to look out for both of our interests, way above and beyond anything she could do, or even had any desire to do initially. 2) That I stumbled on this ability to look out for the both of us through my expressed willingness to accept an outcome where we did not become boyfriend and girlfriend. Furthermore, I think those four main transcendent moments that capped my fixations on Donna, Linda, Gwen, and Jenna in the eighties and early nineties came as a result of my demonstrated willingness to accept an outcome where we didn't become girlfriend and boyfriend as well.
The way I imparted that sentiment on Sara just represents the relatively painless way to go about it. The four transcendent moments with those other women involved psychotic episodes at some point in the timeline. Usually the episodes came immediately before or after the transcendent moments. In the case of Linda, however, the psychotic episode followed the time months later when I waved the axe on my mother's property in the direction of her house, and a neighbor saw me and told her about it, I guess.
The reason the way I took with Sara proved relatively painless by comparison has to do with the experiment I tried in relation to her. That experiment just involved a willingness to let any perceived opportunity to get with her just slip through my fingers. In other words, "What would happen if I turned my back on love?" In contrast, with the women I experienced the psychotic episodes over, I tried to hang on for dear life to the notion of getting with them over a period of quite a few months.
This young woman at this business is a real goddess type who can't be a day over twenty-two, by my reckoning. So yeah, therein lies one of about eight or nine reasons why I'm so very willing to accept an outcome where we don't become girlfriend and boyfriend. The other reasons are: She might not be available. She might not be interested. She doesn't seem accessible or approachable because of where she works, and all of the above reasons in some combination.
I think that my appeal to Sara all those years ago comes down to a couple of points: 1) That I demonstrated an ability to look out for both of our interests, way above and beyond anything she could do, or even had any desire to do initially. 2) That I stumbled on this ability to look out for the both of us through my expressed willingness to accept an outcome where we did not become boyfriend and girlfriend. Furthermore, I think those four main transcendent moments that capped my fixations on Donna, Linda, Gwen, and Jenna in the eighties and early nineties came as a result of my demonstrated willingness to accept an outcome where we didn't become girlfriend and boyfriend as well.
The way I imparted that sentiment on Sara just represents the relatively painless way to go about it. The four transcendent moments with those other women involved psychotic episodes at some point in the timeline. Usually the episodes came immediately before or after the transcendent moments. In the case of Linda, however, the psychotic episode followed the time months later when I waved the axe on my mother's property in the direction of her house, and a neighbor saw me and told her about it, I guess.
The reason the way I took with Sara proved relatively painless by comparison has to do with the experiment I tried in relation to her. That experiment just involved a willingness to let any perceived opportunity to get with her just slip through my fingers. In other words, "What would happen if I turned my back on love?" In contrast, with the women I experienced the psychotic episodes over, I tried to hang on for dear life to the notion of getting with them over a period of quite a few months.
This young woman at this business is a real goddess type who can't be a day over twenty-two, by my reckoning. So yeah, therein lies one of about eight or nine reasons why I'm so very willing to accept an outcome where we don't become girlfriend and boyfriend. The other reasons are: She might not be available. She might not be interested. She doesn't seem accessible or approachable because of where she works, and all of the above reasons in some combination.
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