As readers of this blog will note, I sometimes don't portray myself in the best possible light. I bring up unsavory incidents from my past sometimes to bring this or that point across. I don't mind the fallout from such as tendency, except when I do. I submitted a book to some powers that be last year, and I think that the reason I haven't heard back from these people is that, in the book, I portrayed an incident that I bring up often here. The particular incident being the crude sexual proposition I made to a young woman in her car in the 1980's.
For the purpose of telling the full arc of the Legend of Richy Vegas, I cannot just edit out stuff such as that or even gloss over it in some polite way. As a producer of artistic content, I got wise to the notion a long time ago that I probably have to go it alone, do it myself, what have you, if I'm going to get this stuff out there. The biggest problem I wind up facing is that I may never find a viable audience for what I produce.
Last night I spent a good deal of time in a state of mind that I can best describe as a feverish daydream that featured these powers that be visiting my studio and offering me the keys to the kingdom. I went back and forth between that state and a state where I took into consideration that I haven't heard from these people, and that it may be very likely that I will never hear from them anything that I would want to hear.
I woke up this morning, after only a few hours sleep, and I quickly formulated an approach that I believe will get me over this hump. The approach involves the same strategy I employed with Sara in 1988. Back then I just took a seat in the front of the art history class and vowed to stay there and refrain from chasing Sara to the ends of the Earth and back. Soon after my decision, Sara took a nearby seat behind me and started working on me. That time in my life marked the first time I thought that I handled such pressures well, and I think I can mentally take myself back to that place and just chill out about this gatekeeper stuff until it all blows over.
For the purpose of telling the full arc of the Legend of Richy Vegas, I cannot just edit out stuff such as that or even gloss over it in some polite way. As a producer of artistic content, I got wise to the notion a long time ago that I probably have to go it alone, do it myself, what have you, if I'm going to get this stuff out there. The biggest problem I wind up facing is that I may never find a viable audience for what I produce.
Last night I spent a good deal of time in a state of mind that I can best describe as a feverish daydream that featured these powers that be visiting my studio and offering me the keys to the kingdom. I went back and forth between that state and a state where I took into consideration that I haven't heard from these people, and that it may be very likely that I will never hear from them anything that I would want to hear.
I woke up this morning, after only a few hours sleep, and I quickly formulated an approach that I believe will get me over this hump. The approach involves the same strategy I employed with Sara in 1988. Back then I just took a seat in the front of the art history class and vowed to stay there and refrain from chasing Sara to the ends of the Earth and back. Soon after my decision, Sara took a nearby seat behind me and started working on me. That time in my life marked the first time I thought that I handled such pressures well, and I think I can mentally take myself back to that place and just chill out about this gatekeeper stuff until it all blows over.
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