I've stayed the last two Summers in North Adams. It can get pretty lonely up there, I just have a few family members to interact with. I figure that I would want to move up there while I still have the energy to get out there and meet people and make new friends, instead of waiting until I get even older.
There are sure a lot of attractive young women to look at and admire in Austin, and I will miss that. But, when I approached that young cashier at that grocery store in the fall of 2021 that I had obsessed on for so long, I figured that with that one act of bravery, I'd left no stone unturned as to how to address so many issues of mine in my relationship with women.
I'd had four of those transcendent moments in my twenties. So when I invited that young woman to my comic book show in October of 2021, that moment by itself didn't show me anything new under the sun, really. But I really tried to change my frame of mind about what I could realistically expect AFTERWARDS, and that change in my expectations represented the biggest change I made this time around.
To effect that change I employed all of my skills I'd acquired at smelling a rat. Skills I'd largely honed the years that followed my horrible times with women such as "Wanda," and "Linda," and "Myrna," and Ann Marie, and Alice. I've found those skills useful in the time that followed that transcendent moment I had when I asked that cashier at the grocery store out, in front of God and everyone, while she worked a shift. I mean, the invite to my comic book sale was pretty much like asking her on a date, after all.
I enjoy life a lot more these days than in the days when I smoked two packs of cigarettes a day, drank about fifty to seventy beers a week, and smoked all of that pot and did those other crazy drugs. I made those changes in a town that one can find just saturated with drugs and whatnot, if one travels in certain circles. I think my overall ability to enjoy life more might translate well in my move up to North Adams.
I've pretty much enjoyed my relationship with women more since I revived that experiment I first tried with Sara in 1988, the experiment where I would try to see what would happen if I "turned my back on love." I haven't had much in the way of conventionally labeled "success" with women since I revived that experiment, but my feelings of anger and resentment and hostility towards women really, really abated after one intelligent decision about this or that attractive woman quickly followed another and another and another. I revived that experiment in full effect in the fall of 2012.
One of my recent posts referenced two previous posts that talked about never learning how to catch a freight train going ninety miles an hour down the railroad track, either, and the fact that I could just reference earlier posts in relation to something I just went through effectively proves that I've managed to achieve a very important goal I set sometime in the 2000's; to compile a history with women where I didn't get hurt all the time. I figure that achievement will accompany me to North Adams as well.
There's a pretty robust arts scene in Berkshire County, if not much of a music scene. I think I will take lessons via Skype from my current teacher at Austin Guitar School. I will do so until I get around to completing my next album, which will take a while, because I'm trying to learn drums and banjo for it. My work situation up there will dictate how often I can go to things such as comic book conventions and how often I can visit Austin to see friends. I guess I will write a lot of postcards while I get adjusted to life up there. Write postcards, work on comics, practice music, listen to baseball games on the radio-pretty much what I did my last two summers up there. I've definitely learned to be by myself in meaningful and productive ways for long periods of time, which should help me come across as not so needy and desperate for companionship at those times when I might have an opportunity to meet some new people.