In the last post I talked about how I thought people in my world wanted to see Richy Vegas again. I don't even bother trying to debunk such notions too much anymore. Whatever happened or didn't happen back in the early-to-mid-nineties is such a part of me now, I just try to realize the aspects of those things that I can control, and the things that I can't. It's the serenity prayer thing. I am able to manage the symptoms that have led to so much trouble in the past pretty well.
I have an effective antipsychotic medication and I abstain from drugs and alcohol. Whatever else goes on with me that I have trouble with, in spite of these two measures, I consider life skills issues. One example of a life skills issue that relates to Richy Vegas is the notion that the things that have gone on in my head, the grandiose themes and narratives that make up the Legend of Richy Vegas, will someday become manifest in the reality we all recognize. For years, my de facto method of coping with this intrusive line of thought was to self-medicate with cigarettes, drugs, and alcohol. That was the way I pretty much coped with everything, so that was the method I used for this stuff too. Another tactic I used was to kind of implore people whom I thought could enlighten me to come clean. I ALWAYS ran smack dab into a brick wall that way. I chalk the idea that this uniform response somehow means something, in and of itself, as the "Where there's no smoke there's fire" argument.
The last blog post indicated that I am once again preoccupied about these issues. A few weeks ago I found a method of coping with it. I had parked my car downtown and was about to go out to Red River to hand out flyers. I thought, "If you're going to be world famous soon, why bother with this small potatoes flyer thing?" Then I thought, "Man, you're always thinking along these lines." I hated the idea of becoming so paralyzed by these notions of impeding closure of the Richy Vegas story, so I committed to standing out there at least ten minutes. It turned out to be just what I needed to do. For that period of time, I got out of my head enough just by engaging the world on the level of handing out flyers, that it offered quite a bit of relief. I didn't need to have something going on like an art show or a music gig, I just had to stand out there for a bit and solicit people, get turned down, have some take a flyer, and that was it. I have found this to be the most constructive, sustainable way to deal with this particular symptom that I have ever found.
I'm moving right along on the production of issue number twelve. I finished twenty-four pages plus the cover. As far as what I could specifically do to save the world or whatever, well, I have some ideas, but that's not my department. My department is symptom management.
I have an effective antipsychotic medication and I abstain from drugs and alcohol. Whatever else goes on with me that I have trouble with, in spite of these two measures, I consider life skills issues. One example of a life skills issue that relates to Richy Vegas is the notion that the things that have gone on in my head, the grandiose themes and narratives that make up the Legend of Richy Vegas, will someday become manifest in the reality we all recognize. For years, my de facto method of coping with this intrusive line of thought was to self-medicate with cigarettes, drugs, and alcohol. That was the way I pretty much coped with everything, so that was the method I used for this stuff too. Another tactic I used was to kind of implore people whom I thought could enlighten me to come clean. I ALWAYS ran smack dab into a brick wall that way. I chalk the idea that this uniform response somehow means something, in and of itself, as the "Where there's no smoke there's fire" argument.
The last blog post indicated that I am once again preoccupied about these issues. A few weeks ago I found a method of coping with it. I had parked my car downtown and was about to go out to Red River to hand out flyers. I thought, "If you're going to be world famous soon, why bother with this small potatoes flyer thing?" Then I thought, "Man, you're always thinking along these lines." I hated the idea of becoming so paralyzed by these notions of impeding closure of the Richy Vegas story, so I committed to standing out there at least ten minutes. It turned out to be just what I needed to do. For that period of time, I got out of my head enough just by engaging the world on the level of handing out flyers, that it offered quite a bit of relief. I didn't need to have something going on like an art show or a music gig, I just had to stand out there for a bit and solicit people, get turned down, have some take a flyer, and that was it. I have found this to be the most constructive, sustainable way to deal with this particular symptom that I have ever found.
I'm moving right along on the production of issue number twelve. I finished twenty-four pages plus the cover. As far as what I could specifically do to save the world or whatever, well, I have some ideas, but that's not my department. My department is symptom management.
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