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Stopping obsessive behaviors

8/6/2019

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When I fist quit drinking ten years ago, I would talk about the overall topic of obsession and compulsion with various friends.  I would say that if one stops the obsessive behavior, the obsessive thoughts would eventually stop as well.  In the case of things such as cigarette smoking, that's true.  I stopped smoking in late 2002 as a result of a massive, comprehensive, determined campaign that involved first using the nicotine patch, then Zyban, along with a support group I found out about through the American Lung Association.  It's been a long time since I smoked, and no, I don't think about cigarettes all day and night, and it's been many, many years since I did.  Drinking was pretty much the same way.  I can go to clubs to see bands or play open mikes and not constantly think about how I'd like to have a drink.  It took some getting used to for that, but the aggravation of not drinking while in a club or bar passed as well.

When I talked about obsessive thinking back in 2009, for me that meant women.  I talk a lot about young, attractive women here on this blog.  A lot of entries have to do with me talking myself out of approaching or otherwise pursuing this or that much younger woman in my world.  Where is this all going?  Maybe if I refrain from approaching much younger women for social reasons over a long enough period of time, I will not find myself so preoccupied with them as frequently as I do.  I've cut way down on approaching much younger women over the years.  Last year I approached two who were in their early twenties, and one a little older.  This year I approached one younger woman in a club that I talked about here a couple of months ago.

I don't know if I want to stop approaching younger women altogether, but rather stop approaching waitresses, baristas, and whatnot who inhabit my everyday world.  Would that be enough?  Perhaps if I stop that particular practice altogether, and I have really dialed that back these last six years or so, I won't become so preoccupied with these women who inhabit my everyday world.  It might take quit some time and a lot of talking myself into letting such women go on a case by case basis before my tendency to become preoccupied with such women abates to a manageable level.  Maybe that process has started, I don't know. 
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