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She just didn't seem into it

1/12/2022

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I mentioned in my last post that I try to take responsibility for my behavior in the midst of these crazy fixations I find myself in, and how I try to just bail when it seems time to bail.  Well, I made just such a decision a few weeks ago in regards to that young woman at that business I can go on and on about.  The question that inevitably arises when I'M the one making such a decision, as opposed to such a decision being made for me, centers around the notion that I bail way too early, and that I should just chill and see what happens.  I say this to that: One of the problems with one taking responsibility for one's action stems from the fact that one can make mistakes in what one does.  That comes with the territory.  I have the right to be wrong about this situation, especially if I think my heart is in the right place, and if I really think I'm acting in both our best interests by bailing at this time.

My last post seemed to resonate with some of her female coworkers, maybe.  I don't typically go into her place of employment when I know her to work there these days, but I see that I may have hit a nerve with some of what I said last week.  I wondered why.  I guessed this past evening that girls and women such as her throw out flirtatious looks and gestures to men in their world all the  time, but that the obsessive type of guy invariably becomes the one guy who takes that kind of stuff too seriously.  So, it they really have to be so responsible in regards to how they interact with an obsessive type, why do other types of men seem to have little or no problem with identical flirty behavior on their part?  Yeah, okay.

I think I did pretty good in my accounting of how I was towards her, both here on this blog and in the real world.  I said some heated things about a year and a half ago when I called her a bully and a coward.  I just felt that I was being subjected to some kind of entrapment oriented witch hunt at the hands of her and others.  So, yeah, that's a big reason why I'm so eager to bail at last from this deal.  She just didn't seem into the idea of interacting with me, even on a superficial level, the last time I had to chance to even say hi to her, so I just cut all of that shit loose at that instant.  I don't like the idea that women such as her, and other women observing the situations I find myself in with women such as her, see me as a guy who goes around bothering women. E-uh!


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