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She IS competing

2/18/2020

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I've talked often about a woman I went on one date with some years ago.  She said something to me, twice, that helped kill our deal. The first time she said it, she said it to me over the phone before our scheduled time together.  She said, "I don't compete for men."  I could hear the smirk in her voice when she said it.  The second time she said it, again, she said, "I don't compete for men," on our actual one and only date, and sure enough, she had a big, fat smirk on her face when she said it.  That kind of attitude became a good reason why we had only that one date.  She also had a drug problem, no job, and an attitude that her ability to ingratiate herself to someone such as me could provide her with a ticket to the free and easy life.  Again, we had only one date, and no, I did not have sex with her when a big-as-life opportunity came from her on that one date.

And, I might add, that one time I mention above does not constitute the only time I've made a decision like that about someone I've caught that kind of attitude from.  I can think of several instances where attractive women out and out squandered ample opportunities to get to know me better, with ample time to take advantage of those opportunities, only to try at some later date to give me the idea that it was all about me jumping through their hoops.  Why, if Ms. Ariana Grande herself were to find herself on my personal love docket, and she gave me that kind of attitude, she'd be out on her ass before you could say Jack Robinson.

When that woman from several years ago said to me, flat out, that she doesn't compete for men, and I recoiled at that and her whole messed up life-act, I could point to this one, very apt...point:  That she was competing with the life that I had built up as a single person living for long periods of time with no discernible interest from any women, anywhere.  I've quit smoking cigarettes, quit drinking, and quit drugs.  All of those changes I've made to help improve my life to the point where some asshole can't just come along and act like they own the whole deal between us.  That woman with that attitude did not offer viable competition to the life I have built up as a person by myself, and I fucking rejected her.

And, I might add, my successful efforts to quit cigarettes, drugs, and alcohol allowed me to address the very issues of love addiction that caused so many problems between myself and the women around me in years past.  I've worked very, very hard at that issue.  One main issue of my love addiction consists of the false belief that I could not find happiness if I was not at least actively searching and courting someone I assigned the role of love interest to from amongst the women in my world.  Which brings me back to my point: Anybody, anybody, in my world who wants to vie for love interest status with me will find themselves competing with the life I have now as a single person who is happy being single.  That goes for those women who might have something of a genuine interest in getting to know me better, as well as those more predatory women who vie for my attentions under false pretenses.  Don't believe me?  Try me.
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