Me, I'm just following my buddha. If I've managed to come up with any meaningful insights about myself and this young woman in the past week of these posts or so, that insight did not come from going into her place of employment and getting up in her face and trying to make her over into something she doesn't want to be. It's come from following my buddha. I just asked my buddha what to do now. My buddha said to stay on my current path. Don't go into her place of employment when I knew her to work there some two months ago now, just continue as I am. If I'm to stick to my vow to not fuck with her in any wanna-be-her-boyfriend-right-now sense, than staying on my path continues to serve as my means sticking to that vow.
I said last year that I didn't want to sign on for any Unavailable Woman Deal. An Unavailable Woman Deal consists of the following. I bend over backwards to try to accommodate the notion of such a person in my head and my heart and try to come up with a solution that benefits us both and that those around us find agreeable, and in exchange for my efforts, the other party gets to do whatever the hell they want. Going into her place of employment when I think she might still work there, and I don't know if she still works there or not, going into her place of employment to try to make something, anything, happen with her constitutes an effort on my part to bend over backwards somehow. At least I see it that way.
She can still do whatever the hell she wants. If she just wants to leave me be on my pretentious little buddha path and not try to get any closer to me as a platonic friend even, well, that suits me fine. I like her the way she is and I will never forget her if a decision such as that comes to pass from her.
I said last year that I didn't want to sign on for any Unavailable Woman Deal. An Unavailable Woman Deal consists of the following. I bend over backwards to try to accommodate the notion of such a person in my head and my heart and try to come up with a solution that benefits us both and that those around us find agreeable, and in exchange for my efforts, the other party gets to do whatever the hell they want. Going into her place of employment when I think she might still work there, and I don't know if she still works there or not, going into her place of employment to try to make something, anything, happen with her constitutes an effort on my part to bend over backwards somehow. At least I see it that way.
She can still do whatever the hell she wants. If she just wants to leave me be on my pretentious little buddha path and not try to get any closer to me as a platonic friend even, well, that suits me fine. I like her the way she is and I will never forget her if a decision such as that comes to pass from her.
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