My deals with Sara and Ann Marie ended at moments where I had the impression they expected me to keep going that extra mile in pursuit of them. In both cases I felt I had done enough, and in terms of satisfying my own standards of conduct, I had done enough to get with them. They both had me as the obsessive type I guess, and therefore expected me to keep going for them, and they held out on giving me, in my opinion, enough affirmation that they actually liked me and that they actually wanted to play a part in keeping the deal going. In 1997, I'd established these changes to my game-the tendency to refrain from all out pursuit of someone- to such an extent that I only talked to a girl I call Snolly a little at a party, even though I'd liked her for a couple of years, and I soon left to get cigarettes at an all night grocery store.
This unexpectedly light approach to Snolly on my part resonated with other young men in that social circle, and they seemed to like me for it. Those kinds of signs of encouragement from people like that convinced me enough over the years that I no longer wish to live my life as a romantically obsessive guy who will pursue women to the ends of the Earth and back. The last attractive young woman who gave me contact information of any kind, I call her Daria; I've sent her maybe five emails since March, 2020, at which time she gave me this email address. The ratio between her emails and my emails remains at my four or five to her two or three. That's a ratio I can live with.
Whether that young woman whom I go on and on about on this blog actually reads this blog or not, I will pretty much handle the current situation with her in the same light manner. I remain very happy and satisfied with my effort to reach out to her last month, and, as I told my psychiatrist yesterday, I am very, very grateful that she was so nice about it. I said in a post last Summer, in regards to Jenna, that the only expectations I feel obliged to meet are my own, and I conduct myself accordingly, no matter who I have an interest in or to what extent I think about them in my day to day life.
This unexpectedly light approach to Snolly on my part resonated with other young men in that social circle, and they seemed to like me for it. Those kinds of signs of encouragement from people like that convinced me enough over the years that I no longer wish to live my life as a romantically obsessive guy who will pursue women to the ends of the Earth and back. The last attractive young woman who gave me contact information of any kind, I call her Daria; I've sent her maybe five emails since March, 2020, at which time she gave me this email address. The ratio between her emails and my emails remains at my four or five to her two or three. That's a ratio I can live with.
Whether that young woman whom I go on and on about on this blog actually reads this blog or not, I will pretty much handle the current situation with her in the same light manner. I remain very happy and satisfied with my effort to reach out to her last month, and, as I told my psychiatrist yesterday, I am very, very grateful that she was so nice about it. I said in a post last Summer, in regards to Jenna, that the only expectations I feel obliged to meet are my own, and I conduct myself accordingly, no matter who I have an interest in or to what extent I think about them in my day to day life.
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