See What F**kface is Up to Today

I've got to come up with some rules for this:

See What Fuckface Is Up To Today

D, G, A, B7
Bridge: A7, D7, E7

B∇∆ B∇∆
(on commas strike bass string)

D
Well I woke up this mornin’ 
                        G
Tossed one, over the toilet bowl
          A
You didn’t have to do it
                       G               D
You stole my remote control.

D
Bacon for breakfast
                   G
Looked at, the escort ads
                  A
They’ve got some new Asians
                G                         D
This one here looks pretty rad.

D
Well these gross provactions
        B7
Make me, enter the fray
          A
Time to get my phone and see what,
  G                                D
Fuckface is up to today.


D
Well I know she has a boyfriend
    G
And god don’t we all
    A
She blew her nose in Brighton
          G                            D
Dropped a turd in Provencal.

D
Well I think I’ll do the same
      G 
In the Yellow Rose toilet bowl
                A
Mindy’s on the main stage
              G                        D
And it’s, come one come all.


D
Babe I just want to sit here
        B7
I don’t need no company
           A
Time to check my phone and see what, 
G                               D
Fuckface is up to today.

Bridge:
A7
Though I wanted a wife
                         D7
She dropped a deuce in my life
                              E7
Oh this pilfering of my stuff’s 
           A7
Got to stop.

​A7
Stacy holds hands with Chip
                                      D7
Head salesman at the dealership
              E7
For a Kia today
                  A7
Best talk to Dan.

A7
Well she could trade in Asshole G
                       D7
For good old Asshole Me
                          E7
But I guess that other shoe’s
                 A7 
Already dropped.

Verse:
She sits atop the world
And atop the A-list
And I think I’ll tell my doctor 
Drain this femme fatale cyst.

Well that’s all it amounts to 
I’m missin’ some stuff
My apartment's awful cluttered
Does she need all of this guff?

Well a pot pie for dinner
That tastes just like clay
Better check my phone and see what, 
Fuckface is up to today.

Richy Vegas 9/3/2017