My image of myself changed forever after I ran into Gil Wilson at a party on June 19th, 1992. An intrusive, hallucinatory, "Richy Vegas" alter ego competed with the reality I knew before I ran into Gil. Richy Vegas always triumphed, always knew what to do, always did the right thing, and had special powers.
I can plug into the old image of myself easier than I can plug into Richy Vegas. I can more readily situate myself as a flawed yet basically good hearted person who struggles and makes lots of mistakes rather than try to come off as some legendary demigod, bodhisattva, second coming of Christ and all of that other Richy Vegas baggage.
I had a really challenging job taking care of disabled men in the '90's. I coped with the low pay yet massive responsibility by drinking heavily. I have a job now that demands more of me than i'd like, but I don't drink anymore. I will look into joining a substance abuse oriented support group to help me cope with the demands I face at work.