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On second thought....

12/6/2022

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I put my mind to what I wrote yesterday about that young woman and the idea that a fear of rejection motivated her more distasteful attitudes and behaviors towards me.  In  that post from the other day, I also talked about how she might feel threatened with harm of some kind by me.  I concluded that a fear of rejection might hold sway over a fear of emotional or bodily harm.  I think the opposite now.  I think a fear of bodily harm, emotional harm, trauma, that sort of thing; I think that probably explains where she came from in regards to me for so long.  I suspect that fear still exists in her.

I don't think looking into any line of inquiry, such as asking a young woman at a business if she is this girl's sister would help at all.  I think that would have the opposite effect, if in fact that young woman at that business is that girl's sister.  If that girl I crushed on for so long just does not feel safe around me, and she does not even feel safe with the idea of me at all, then me looking into ways I can get with her will not help at all.

I got a postcard this week from a woman I went on a date with in 2015.  Things didn't work out, but we remain friends.  Not all women feel threatened by me, and I guess feeling threatened by me should count as a premium deal killer in regards as to whether someone gets my attention.

When I approached that cashier at her job in October of 2021, that approach amounted to the "Citizen Kane" of fifty-seven year old men approaching twenty-two year old girls for social reasons. When I label that gesture the "Citizen Kane" of such gestures, I mean it amounts to the masterpiece of masterpieces in its category of things to label as masterpieces.  If that didn't do it, in other words, nothing will.
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