Not long ago I posted on this blog my conclusion that the young woman I go on so much about no longer worked at the business that I still patronize. Well, I saw her working there the other day. She gave me what looked like, from underneath her mask, a beaming smile. I could tell as much as I could tell about the nature of her smile from the look in her eyes. I've patronized the business since then with an eye towards seeing her and interacting with her again, but with no luck. I'm glad she didn't quit that job. I just wish I could see more of her there or anywhere else.
So, last Saturday night/ Sunday morning I noticed a big wave of anxiety came over me in relation to that young woman. My head became filled with speculation as to where she was coming from in relation to me at this point in time, to scenarios of the two of us out on the town and finding ourselves beset by ruffians, to the possibility that she will go off on tour with Guns 'n Roses after all. I decided when I woke up Sunday that, no matter the nature of the deal between myself and this young woman, I would address this issue of anxiety head on, even if I manage to accomplish absolutely nothing else in the deal between myself and this young woman.
On Sunday I decided to try and cope with this anxiety using a technique I learned from Feeling Good by Doctor David Burns. He recommends in one part that the reader buy a counter that the reader can use to tick off each time a disturbing thought appears in the reader's head. The reader can then see how many of these types of thoughts they've counted off at the end of the day and record them. I discovered that nowadays they have free apps for one's phone that can count things such as this, so I downloaded one and did just that. I set up a category for anxiety producing thoughts regarding this young woman, but also included a category for positive thoughts that came up in answer to all the anxiety producing thoughts.
On Sunday and Monday of this week I recorded anxiety producing thoughts that numbered in the twenties and thirties on both days, and more positive, constructive thoughts that numbered a little less. So far I've felt no need to tick off such thoughts today. Last night, as I lay in bed, I thought to myself, "What if I just let this perceived opportunity with this young woman slip through my fingers?" I interact with baristas at this one coffee shop I patronize on a fairly familiar basis. I tried asking young women who worked at this same coffee shop on dates around ten years ago, and I always came up empty. The last time I tried to ask a waitress out that I kind of knew while she worked, in 2019, it seemed as If I ran up against something women such as her consider kind of an occupational hazard.
That's not to say I would NEVER do anything along the lines of say, inviting this young woman to an open mike at the Posse East once that place opens up this Summer, but the nature of our interactions don't seem to allow for that level of comfort and familiarity. I wrote that song, "Pardon Me Young Lady (But You've Double Parked Your Broom)," about her. I practice it regularly, and I'd love to play it for her at an open mike. But, maybe I'm a coward, or I just don't have the game to pick someone such as her up, but remember, I said that the ONE thing I would address this time on this particular deal with this young woman would be the anxiety that comes along with such a deal, and I have, and I will continue to concentrate on just that one thing.
So, last Saturday night/ Sunday morning I noticed a big wave of anxiety came over me in relation to that young woman. My head became filled with speculation as to where she was coming from in relation to me at this point in time, to scenarios of the two of us out on the town and finding ourselves beset by ruffians, to the possibility that she will go off on tour with Guns 'n Roses after all. I decided when I woke up Sunday that, no matter the nature of the deal between myself and this young woman, I would address this issue of anxiety head on, even if I manage to accomplish absolutely nothing else in the deal between myself and this young woman.
On Sunday I decided to try and cope with this anxiety using a technique I learned from Feeling Good by Doctor David Burns. He recommends in one part that the reader buy a counter that the reader can use to tick off each time a disturbing thought appears in the reader's head. The reader can then see how many of these types of thoughts they've counted off at the end of the day and record them. I discovered that nowadays they have free apps for one's phone that can count things such as this, so I downloaded one and did just that. I set up a category for anxiety producing thoughts regarding this young woman, but also included a category for positive thoughts that came up in answer to all the anxiety producing thoughts.
On Sunday and Monday of this week I recorded anxiety producing thoughts that numbered in the twenties and thirties on both days, and more positive, constructive thoughts that numbered a little less. So far I've felt no need to tick off such thoughts today. Last night, as I lay in bed, I thought to myself, "What if I just let this perceived opportunity with this young woman slip through my fingers?" I interact with baristas at this one coffee shop I patronize on a fairly familiar basis. I tried asking young women who worked at this same coffee shop on dates around ten years ago, and I always came up empty. The last time I tried to ask a waitress out that I kind of knew while she worked, in 2019, it seemed as If I ran up against something women such as her consider kind of an occupational hazard.
That's not to say I would NEVER do anything along the lines of say, inviting this young woman to an open mike at the Posse East once that place opens up this Summer, but the nature of our interactions don't seem to allow for that level of comfort and familiarity. I wrote that song, "Pardon Me Young Lady (But You've Double Parked Your Broom)," about her. I practice it regularly, and I'd love to play it for her at an open mike. But, maybe I'm a coward, or I just don't have the game to pick someone such as her up, but remember, I said that the ONE thing I would address this time on this particular deal with this young woman would be the anxiety that comes along with such a deal, and I have, and I will continue to concentrate on just that one thing.
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