The other night I went to the open mike night at the Posse East. I sat there calmly for quite some time by myself near the front of the stage taking in the acts. I don't remember the last time I felt so chill while out in a club or bar recently. I attributed this newfound inner peace to the fact that I'd brought my deal with this young woman I've been writing about recently to the next level.
Now, I don't know if I'll ever go out with this person, or if I'll even make her acquaintance, but I wanted something to change between myself and her, and so I made that happen. When I would see her at her job at this business I patronize, she seemed reluctant to even make eye contact with me, much less greet me in a friendly manner and make me feel as if she wanted me around. Since she seemed not at all receptive to me getting closer to her, and I didn't want things to stay the same, I decided to go the other way and not go to this business when I figured she might work there.
Me, I'm just following my buddha. This idea came to me back in 1988 with Sara. I wanted to see what would happen if I turned my back on love. I thought I'd made a tragic mistake by doing this in 1990, and in 1992 I went mad trying to make up for this supposed mistake.
One thing that Sara and Jenna, the girl from 1992, had in common was they never really let me know in any overt kind of way that they liked me. I was just supposed to pick up on hints that people dropped and jump through hoops as best I could. I wasn't having that with Sara, but with Jenna I really tried to see things through to the bitter end in my own way.
Maybe this young woman is too proud to let me know in some overt way that she likes me. Well then, she could join some pretty bad company with that attitude. I found out through a mutual friend that the first girl I dated liked me, ditto with the second girl I dated. But no, me and this young woman have no mutual friends in common, I suppose, so that's out. Well, following one's buddha is not kid's stuff, and it's not for the squeamish.
Now, I don't know if I'll ever go out with this person, or if I'll even make her acquaintance, but I wanted something to change between myself and her, and so I made that happen. When I would see her at her job at this business I patronize, she seemed reluctant to even make eye contact with me, much less greet me in a friendly manner and make me feel as if she wanted me around. Since she seemed not at all receptive to me getting closer to her, and I didn't want things to stay the same, I decided to go the other way and not go to this business when I figured she might work there.
Me, I'm just following my buddha. This idea came to me back in 1988 with Sara. I wanted to see what would happen if I turned my back on love. I thought I'd made a tragic mistake by doing this in 1990, and in 1992 I went mad trying to make up for this supposed mistake.
One thing that Sara and Jenna, the girl from 1992, had in common was they never really let me know in any overt kind of way that they liked me. I was just supposed to pick up on hints that people dropped and jump through hoops as best I could. I wasn't having that with Sara, but with Jenna I really tried to see things through to the bitter end in my own way.
Maybe this young woman is too proud to let me know in some overt way that she likes me. Well then, she could join some pretty bad company with that attitude. I found out through a mutual friend that the first girl I dated liked me, ditto with the second girl I dated. But no, me and this young woman have no mutual friends in common, I suppose, so that's out. Well, following one's buddha is not kid's stuff, and it's not for the squeamish.
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