The answer to the $64,000 question regarding this young woman seems to center around this notion of whether she even likes me or not. The answer I came up with not thirty minutes ago is......she doesn't really know whether she likes me or not either. That would explain this desire she seems to possess to have me perform to some expectations that I supposedly guess her to have for me. She doesn't know either. Well, ain't that a sonofabitch.
She may have trouble forming emotional attachments to the men she does wind up dating. I don't know. For my part, I never learned a damn thing about these kinds of women when I would chase them to the ends of the Earth and back. The only way I ever seemed to gain any meaningful insight into these kinds of women resulted from going in some direction away from them.
Know this people, that simple-yet-hard-to-arrive-at conclusion would explain a lot of women in my past. A lot of really bad experiences can result from that kind of uh, ambiguity, ambivalence, what's the word I'm looking for? Oh well, I had a teacher at SVA who threw off the line,"At least artists can live with ambiguity." I don't know if that's true in my case, but dig, I've been scratching my head over this one for over a year. My tactic of putting out a big no to this whole deal and not doing much of anything about this problem seems to point to an ability on my part to, yeah, live with ambiguity.
I guess that someone like her can find it hard for people around her to accept her if this guess I'm putting out there contains some real truth. Speaking for myself, part of me always cared for this person and possessed a great deal of fondness for her. I wish her the best, but still, I can see why any demands I might make that she reach out to me seem pretty pointless in light of this guess I'm putting out there. And, I hope those people out there can understand if I don't feel much of an obligation to perform some grand gesture of love on this person's behalf.