In exchange for the friend request, I decided to avoid the times of day when I figured she'd work there. I didn't want to deal with the way she'd be with me after some of my blog posts about her. She'd look at me as if I was going to start getting all obsessive in my pursuit of her, and I really don't think that I've ever given her the impression that I'd ever been like that with her.
So I really liked the idea that all she had to do was not accept my request, and it was like, 'poof,' I was gone from her world and she was gone from my world. No sooner did this conflict become resolved than another conflict sprang up in another part of my world. I am not at liberty to discuss the nature of that conflict, but I have just resolved it to my satisfaction, I hope.
Now this young woman appears to have switched around when she works at this business, so that now she's there when I go in. One reason could be is that she's doing some vocational training such as student nurse and she needs her previous shift times for that. In that case, the fact that she didn't accept my Facebook friend request would mean that she still just wants me to leave her alone, which I am willing to do. I don't know if I'll go to the trouble of trying to only go in there when I figure she's not there, during our whole time between us, I've never felt as if I've ever done any wrong by her, and she shouldn't expect anything to start up now.
The other possibility is that this is somehow about me. If that is the case, I'm not impressed. The fact that she still hasn't accepted my Facebook friend request, and instead just "followed" me to my change in when I go in there, just tells me that she wants the old deal back. The old deal consisted of my blogging thoughtful thoughts about her about what she may be thinking and what all I could do to make things on my end amenable to a desired resolution, and in exchange she got to do whatever she wanted. There was something about this deal that she liked, and the fact that she didn't accept my Facebook friend request after almost two months just indicated that she didn't really want to our deal to go anywhere. I decided that I wanted things to change, whether she was on board for that change or not, and if I can help it at all, the old deal is never coming back.
Last month I started writing about that Richy Vegas Blind Assassin stuff and telling readers how they could listen to that stuff. I also told a little back story and talked about some movies with characters and situations that I identify with. If anyone thinks that someone with this woman's proven track record wouldn't be low enough to go there after absorbing that stuff, think again. The first time it happened it really shocked me and stung me quite a bit. The second time it happened, it still smarted because I really had that one on a pedestal and I really idealized her. The third time I totally knew to play to it. This was with a waitress at a restaurant who really had a hard on to do a vicious takedown on me. A few months later another waitress who'd seemed to like me okay enough had returned from a trip where she had been absent when all of this went down. This other waitress gave me the dirtiest look with these cold blue eyes that seemed to convey an almost overwhelming inner rage. The look seemed to convey a belief that I had actually done the waitress concerned an actual injury of some sort. What a punk! None of this stuff would have surprised Yojimbo at all from the get go.
A couple of years ago I was telling my guitar teacher that these women are running out of tricks. By the time I'm like in my seventies or whatever, it will be some youngish woman who will stop me at some store I go to regularly, and try to convince me that we've met before.