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My standards for a date

2/14/2021

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My standards for one date with a woman list as follows:  1) available, 2) interested, 3) act like they give a shit about taking care of themselves.  Even with those, from my point of view, pretty forgiving standards, I don't get out much.  That includes the years in the  run up to this pandemic period.  Also, Ive had a problem several times with women who do want to go out with me, but can't manage that third requirement in the list.  Namely, act like they give shit about taking care of themselves.  By "problem" I mean they have a drug and/or alcohol problem.

I've decided to try to patronize that business that the young woman I go on at length about works at during the times I knew her to work there.  I don't even know if she still works at this business.  I hope she still works there, because I would like to go there and see if I could tell whether she is, 1) available, 2) interested, 3) acts like she gives a shit about taking care of herself.   I have a feeling that she meets the third item on the list, at least.  I don't know about the other two, though.  

I see those standards as pretty damn democratic, at least in comparison to a set of standards that would ONLY include someone who is as young as her and looks as good as her.  I've gone on actual dates with some women whom I was not infatuated with, who were not twenty-two years old, and did not look as good as this young woman, simply because I wanted to honor that more forgiving set of standards and not just be a total dateless wonder in life.  I think men who make it all about really attractive young women exclusively don't like women very much, when all is said and done.  That said, a willingness to go out with this young woman, if she meets my newer, more forgiving set of standards counts as democratic as well, to my way of seeing things.

I've said in previous posts that, for now, I want a variety of dating experiences with a variety of women.  Even though I'm very much attracted to this young women, and my fantasies about how things play out with her run towards more, um, traditional scenarios, I'm going to stick to my guns on my stated goal with my relationship with women.  Yep, a variety of dating experiences with a variety of women.  I look back on my past failings with women I considered exciting, women who remind me of her, and I keep coming back to one word; incompatibility.  I've gone on at length in this forum about all the ways the women from my past and I just weren't on the same page in one way or another, which led to a soul crushing incompatibility between myself and these women.  I think a goal that includes the possibility of seeing other women, and I don't necessarily mean making a uniform sexual conquest of a variety women I go out with- it's never worked out that way- I think at least allowing for that possibility to exist in a world where we won't find ourselves so beset with this pandemic issue will allow me to not put so much off on someone such as this young woman.  It takes pressure off of her and it takes pressure off of me, in other words. 
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