A couple of months ago I refrained from posting this one. It's about a gal at one of these food service places that I used to patronize. See, "Approachable women and the road less traveled," from October, 2016, for the reference to her. I speculated that she was the type that always had a boyfriend. That's not true entirely for these types. From my recollection, if they had a serious boyfriend that lasted like three years or some such, they could go without a boyfriend for like six whole months after the breakup.
For me that's like $100 to $150 dollars worth of porn. Six months? 'Pshh.' I can do six months standing on my fucking head. But enough about me, a six months window was never enough for me to hop on board, and more typically it was like a month, month and a half. I never really got into the real fun ones who never seemed to have any daylight between boyfriends-the ones with the over lapping boyfriends.
I never really got the hang of catching these women at the precise right time, I guess. I also never learned to hop a freight train going ninety fucking miles an hour, either. Hell, I was doing good to remember to always wash my hands after wiping my ass, which I maybe mastered by the age of 40. By the way, something about these women and how they would relate to me always seemed to have something more to do with someone wiping their ass on something or someone rather than anything about anyone catching any old freight train. I was just never their guy, I guess.
Without further ado:
My Girlfriend Is a Hatesong
by
Richy Vegas
C:F:G:Am:Em
B∇∆B∇∆
Chorus:
G
My girlfriend is a hatesong
Am
I lub it, lub it, lub it.
F
I’m going up on stage now
Am
Don’t flub it, flub it, flub it.
G
My girlfriend is a hatesong
Am
Composed of blood and bile
F
Ghoulie girl leggo my heart
G C
And rest with me a while.
Verse:
C
The world’s too big a place
Em
To feast on living men
F
There’s birds and trees and flowers
G C
Why spend it in the pen.
C
It’s weird to think but think of it
Em
Onan’s sin makes me a man
F
A ghoul like you has not the love
G C
Better spent with my right hand.
C
You think yourself a demon
Em
You think yourself a witch
F
Me I’m like some deli stooge
G C
I’ll make this song a sandwich
Chorus:
My girlfriend is a hatesong
I lub it, lub it, lub it.
I’m going up on stage now
Don’t flub it, flub it, flub it.
My girlfriend is a hatesong
Composed of blood and bile
Ghoulie girl leggo my heart
And rest with me a while.
Verse:
Here’s the double decker layer
‘cuz you’re a wolf who wears sheep’s clothes
you served me eggs, you had nice legs
(faster) (slower)
it’s time for me/ to bust out those.
A wholesome fetching thing you were
There cure for just what ails me
But the same to say for all your kind
(faster) (slower)
A case of barking/ up the wrong tree.
What more goes on this layer
Perhaps another slice of scorn
How ‘bout I load up on Green Giant
(faster) (slower)
Take a shit/ you eat the corn.
Chorus:
My girlfriend is a hatesong
I lub it, lub it, lub it.
I’m going up on stage now
Don’t flub it, flub it, flub it.
My girlfriend is a hatesong
Composed of blood and bile
Ghoulie girl leggo my heart
And rest with me a while.
Richy Vegas
10/2/2016
For me that's like $100 to $150 dollars worth of porn. Six months? 'Pshh.' I can do six months standing on my fucking head. But enough about me, a six months window was never enough for me to hop on board, and more typically it was like a month, month and a half. I never really got into the real fun ones who never seemed to have any daylight between boyfriends-the ones with the over lapping boyfriends.
I never really got the hang of catching these women at the precise right time, I guess. I also never learned to hop a freight train going ninety fucking miles an hour, either. Hell, I was doing good to remember to always wash my hands after wiping my ass, which I maybe mastered by the age of 40. By the way, something about these women and how they would relate to me always seemed to have something more to do with someone wiping their ass on something or someone rather than anything about anyone catching any old freight train. I was just never their guy, I guess.
Without further ado:
My Girlfriend Is a Hatesong
by
Richy Vegas
C:F:G:Am:Em
B∇∆B∇∆
Chorus:
G
My girlfriend is a hatesong
Am
I lub it, lub it, lub it.
F
I’m going up on stage now
Am
Don’t flub it, flub it, flub it.
G
My girlfriend is a hatesong
Am
Composed of blood and bile
F
Ghoulie girl leggo my heart
G C
And rest with me a while.
Verse:
C
The world’s too big a place
Em
To feast on living men
F
There’s birds and trees and flowers
G C
Why spend it in the pen.
C
It’s weird to think but think of it
Em
Onan’s sin makes me a man
F
A ghoul like you has not the love
G C
Better spent with my right hand.
C
You think yourself a demon
Em
You think yourself a witch
F
Me I’m like some deli stooge
G C
I’ll make this song a sandwich
Chorus:
My girlfriend is a hatesong
I lub it, lub it, lub it.
I’m going up on stage now
Don’t flub it, flub it, flub it.
My girlfriend is a hatesong
Composed of blood and bile
Ghoulie girl leggo my heart
And rest with me a while.
Verse:
Here’s the double decker layer
‘cuz you’re a wolf who wears sheep’s clothes
you served me eggs, you had nice legs
(faster) (slower)
it’s time for me/ to bust out those.
A wholesome fetching thing you were
There cure for just what ails me
But the same to say for all your kind
(faster) (slower)
A case of barking/ up the wrong tree.
What more goes on this layer
Perhaps another slice of scorn
How ‘bout I load up on Green Giant
(faster) (slower)
Take a shit/ you eat the corn.
Chorus:
My girlfriend is a hatesong
I lub it, lub it, lub it.
I’m going up on stage now
Don’t flub it, flub it, flub it.
My girlfriend is a hatesong
Composed of blood and bile
Ghoulie girl leggo my heart
And rest with me a while.
Richy Vegas
10/2/2016
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