It's becoming more and more clear to me how to relate the women in my world. One the one hand, I could try my best to reach down deep inside myself and be super nice and try to treat it like some quest for enlightenment in doing so. I unwittingly did that for years and years and have a bunch of psychotic episodes/ nervous breakdowns to show for it. That song "The Rose" about how love is like a river and how those too afraid to die never live etc. etc. I mean, that's all great and a lot of stories have been told with that as a setup. But, do that however many times one does it and come up empty, or worse, have breakdowns, and one starts to think it might be time to change it up.
I mean, it's looking pretty cut and dried to me right now. What if I just let any supposed opportunity with any of the STONE FOXES in my world just slip through my fingers? I tried that just one time with Sara in my youth, and that one time: no nervous breakdown, no psychotic episode. This last experience with the Invisible Woman really bore that out. Regardless of whether that was a "real" thing going on or not, I could have had a lot of problems if I tried to be the most loving man I could be. In that case, the world that broke my heart in my youth hasn't changed, but I have. And, I don't think I've changed into a bad, unloving, or cold-hearted man as a result.
So, if I do just "turn my back on love" in reaction to any of the STONE FOXES in my world, I guess that I shouldn't be surprised if I come up empty. But, if these last several experiences with the women in my world, starting in 2012, carry over into whatever transpires with this or that STONE FOX in my world now; my mental, emotional, and overall health should turn out pretty robust, and I can continue to work on my art and music at the same productive pace that I've attained over these past several years.
I mean, it's looking pretty cut and dried to me right now. What if I just let any supposed opportunity with any of the STONE FOXES in my world just slip through my fingers? I tried that just one time with Sara in my youth, and that one time: no nervous breakdown, no psychotic episode. This last experience with the Invisible Woman really bore that out. Regardless of whether that was a "real" thing going on or not, I could have had a lot of problems if I tried to be the most loving man I could be. In that case, the world that broke my heart in my youth hasn't changed, but I have. And, I don't think I've changed into a bad, unloving, or cold-hearted man as a result.
So, if I do just "turn my back on love" in reaction to any of the STONE FOXES in my world, I guess that I shouldn't be surprised if I come up empty. But, if these last several experiences with the women in my world, starting in 2012, carry over into whatever transpires with this or that STONE FOX in my world now; my mental, emotional, and overall health should turn out pretty robust, and I can continue to work on my art and music at the same productive pace that I've attained over these past several years.
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