In 2014 I had a run in with a female employee at a business I patronize. It was nothing, just a flirty deke thing she tried but that I snapped to immediately. She seemed a little impressed, whatever. At this business I know a younger guy through friends who also works there. Not long after this little run in with this woman, I said to this guy at a social function that his place of business was where I saw the most attractive young women on a regular basis. I said emphatically, "I just go there for business, I swear." He thought it kind of funny.
A couple of months later at this business, as I waited to complete my transaction, a young woman who worked there came up, and while looking into her smartphone, said something about, "This is my first time." I thought about that, and snapped to the possibility that it was some purposefully dissociative, out of context reference to a smoking hot, young uberbabe type who was one of the prettiest girls that worked there.
I found the prospect that I would have to deal with this kind of stuff at this particular business pretty damn frightening. As the days progressed and I went there several more times, I got the same kind of vibe in the same kind of way that this was really going down. I wondered whatever could these people feel that I'd done wrong that would compel them to come after me this way. Were they all against me, though? Did they think they were helping me? Did they think that this was the way someone like me preferred to get information?
What I figured had happened was that this one female employee that had tried to deke me had asked the guy that I knew socially about me, and that he had told her about my mental health deal. I don't blame people like this guy when they kind of inadvertently light the fuse that makes its way to the giant powder keg that I saw happening here. They don't know what it's like to be me, and that they innocently can set things in motion when someone else takes the information that they give them and acts in an irresponsible manner with it.
In a highly confused, agitated, frightened state I called a friend who'd I met this employee through, and whom also patronized this business, and told him what I thought was going on at this business between myself and these people. He handled it exactly the right way, in that he did not try to dispel anything that I told him and then go into why he thought he was right about what was really going on and how he thought I was wrong. He just kept whatever opinions he had to himself and let me get this off my chest, because he could tell that I was feeling very isolated and frightened. I told him that I thought that I might want to reach out to this young woman that this was all about, because I thought that maybe these same people might be working on her as well, and that she might be very frightened and confused as well. He emphatically advised not to attempt that. I felt better and let him go.
My course of action was to just slow things down, take my time, and be very circumspect about whatever courses of action I wanted to take. It was quite an ordeal, but fortunately I'd had a very similar experience in my youth that I could draw on. I talk about that experience in the post "I'm not bad," from January of this year. It was a remarkably useful template for how to deal with this situation that guided me nearly every step of the way to a conclusion that meet with my complete satisfaction, because I busted that little girl but good.
I figure that she was playing both ends against the middle, in that she was not only trying to scam me, but also her fellow employees into being her unwitting accomplices. If any one out there thinks that this kind of thing is cute or funny, I beg to differ. That girl who looked into her phone and said something about her first time was under the impression that she was doing both her friend and me a favor with this remark. If I had been someone with my diagnosis who didn't, for whatever reason, have the level of coping skills that I have, she could have been in some trouble. And this virgin girl who was representing herself as this girl's friend didn't really care about the possible negative consequences for instigating this whole interaction between myself, her, and her fellow employees. I had a friend like this, one who played by his own set of rules, and it's not a fun thing to find out that such a person doesn't view one's friendship with them as one that is based on mutual respect and trust. I'm not talking about 1987 here, but rather the last couple of years, so I'm not one to judge this young woman on how she was taken in.
That was not the last female employee that I had a run in with at this business either. Go back to about last Summer in my blog posts and see how another deal shook out with another girl who was buddies with this virgin girl, and whose big motivation for starting with me in the first place was, in all likelihood, to succeed where her friend failed.
So if any of you cuties out there want to try getting cute with me, you're going to have to realize the kind of adversaries that I've faced before. If you see these words as just a gesture by me of throwing down the gauntlet, well, God bless you.
Not long ago I said to my psychiatrist that I predicted that there would come a day for me when this stuff was just never going to work anymore. I recalled to her a time when I was in my early twenties when I constantly had to stand up to all kinds of guys in all kinds of settings who were trying to bully me and intimidate me, and yeah, their tactics worked at first, but when it kept happening over and over again, it just got to the point where none of that stuff ever scared me anymore. Maybe the same kind of thing is taking place now.
A couple of months later at this business, as I waited to complete my transaction, a young woman who worked there came up, and while looking into her smartphone, said something about, "This is my first time." I thought about that, and snapped to the possibility that it was some purposefully dissociative, out of context reference to a smoking hot, young uberbabe type who was one of the prettiest girls that worked there.
I found the prospect that I would have to deal with this kind of stuff at this particular business pretty damn frightening. As the days progressed and I went there several more times, I got the same kind of vibe in the same kind of way that this was really going down. I wondered whatever could these people feel that I'd done wrong that would compel them to come after me this way. Were they all against me, though? Did they think they were helping me? Did they think that this was the way someone like me preferred to get information?
What I figured had happened was that this one female employee that had tried to deke me had asked the guy that I knew socially about me, and that he had told her about my mental health deal. I don't blame people like this guy when they kind of inadvertently light the fuse that makes its way to the giant powder keg that I saw happening here. They don't know what it's like to be me, and that they innocently can set things in motion when someone else takes the information that they give them and acts in an irresponsible manner with it.
In a highly confused, agitated, frightened state I called a friend who'd I met this employee through, and whom also patronized this business, and told him what I thought was going on at this business between myself and these people. He handled it exactly the right way, in that he did not try to dispel anything that I told him and then go into why he thought he was right about what was really going on and how he thought I was wrong. He just kept whatever opinions he had to himself and let me get this off my chest, because he could tell that I was feeling very isolated and frightened. I told him that I thought that I might want to reach out to this young woman that this was all about, because I thought that maybe these same people might be working on her as well, and that she might be very frightened and confused as well. He emphatically advised not to attempt that. I felt better and let him go.
My course of action was to just slow things down, take my time, and be very circumspect about whatever courses of action I wanted to take. It was quite an ordeal, but fortunately I'd had a very similar experience in my youth that I could draw on. I talk about that experience in the post "I'm not bad," from January of this year. It was a remarkably useful template for how to deal with this situation that guided me nearly every step of the way to a conclusion that meet with my complete satisfaction, because I busted that little girl but good.
I figure that she was playing both ends against the middle, in that she was not only trying to scam me, but also her fellow employees into being her unwitting accomplices. If any one out there thinks that this kind of thing is cute or funny, I beg to differ. That girl who looked into her phone and said something about her first time was under the impression that she was doing both her friend and me a favor with this remark. If I had been someone with my diagnosis who didn't, for whatever reason, have the level of coping skills that I have, she could have been in some trouble. And this virgin girl who was representing herself as this girl's friend didn't really care about the possible negative consequences for instigating this whole interaction between myself, her, and her fellow employees. I had a friend like this, one who played by his own set of rules, and it's not a fun thing to find out that such a person doesn't view one's friendship with them as one that is based on mutual respect and trust. I'm not talking about 1987 here, but rather the last couple of years, so I'm not one to judge this young woman on how she was taken in.
That was not the last female employee that I had a run in with at this business either. Go back to about last Summer in my blog posts and see how another deal shook out with another girl who was buddies with this virgin girl, and whose big motivation for starting with me in the first place was, in all likelihood, to succeed where her friend failed.
So if any of you cuties out there want to try getting cute with me, you're going to have to realize the kind of adversaries that I've faced before. If you see these words as just a gesture by me of throwing down the gauntlet, well, God bless you.
Not long ago I said to my psychiatrist that I predicted that there would come a day for me when this stuff was just never going to work anymore. I recalled to her a time when I was in my early twenties when I constantly had to stand up to all kinds of guys in all kinds of settings who were trying to bully me and intimidate me, and yeah, their tactics worked at first, but when it kept happening over and over again, it just got to the point where none of that stuff ever scared me anymore. Maybe the same kind of thing is taking place now.
RSS Feed
