I write often about times in my past when I made things right with Jenna or others. So, on the one hand, my mind altering experience of these past few weeks may just stem from the workings of my own mind in regards to that former cashier, or some of what I experienced may reflect a reality she wanted to bring to me. If the latter proves true, and maybe time will tell on that, these last few weeks may represent an effort on her part to make things right with me.
If what I just wrote has any basis in reality, I also conclude that she never wanted me, and that she doesn't want me now. She also doesn't want me to so readily lump her in with several women from my past whom I bring up and portray in disparaging ways. She doesn't want me having such a bad taste in my mouth about her, I guess. Okay, I'll try to refer to her in the more dispassionate, professional manner I've taken to referring to her in the year since I really made a big push to let her go.
Okay, I'll try to do that. If the last experience I had of "her" truly represented an experience of her, then that's two big checks for her in the plus column. One check comes from when I approached her for social reasons in late October of 2021, and the other check represents this feeling of peace and well-being that came over me after I inquired about her to that young woman at that one business I patronized a couple of weeks ago.
It'd be nice if she and/or other women really put the word out for women to stop lining up outside my door in order to just totally shit on me. It still happens. I guess she doesn't have the power to do that, though. Not with ALL of the women who so desire to be that to me, at any rate. A noticeable drop off in that kind of activity would be nice, though.
If what I just wrote has any basis in reality, I also conclude that she never wanted me, and that she doesn't want me now. She also doesn't want me to so readily lump her in with several women from my past whom I bring up and portray in disparaging ways. She doesn't want me having such a bad taste in my mouth about her, I guess. Okay, I'll try to refer to her in the more dispassionate, professional manner I've taken to referring to her in the year since I really made a big push to let her go.
Okay, I'll try to do that. If the last experience I had of "her" truly represented an experience of her, then that's two big checks for her in the plus column. One check comes from when I approached her for social reasons in late October of 2021, and the other check represents this feeling of peace and well-being that came over me after I inquired about her to that young woman at that one business I patronized a couple of weeks ago.
It'd be nice if she and/or other women really put the word out for women to stop lining up outside my door in order to just totally shit on me. It still happens. I guess she doesn't have the power to do that, though. Not with ALL of the women who so desire to be that to me, at any rate. A noticeable drop off in that kind of activity would be nice, though.
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