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Making love too important

3/21/2017

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I remember hanging out with this guy some years back this one time, and he was going on to those within earshot that he thought that he'd met someone.  I remember hearing stories about how needy this guy came across to the women friends we both knew, and I couldn't help but think, "Dude, you probably didn't actually meet someone."

So I'm not making a claim like that at this time.  I just have the opportunity to talk to someone who is not an employee of a business I patronize, like a coffee shop, whose JOB it is to kind of talk to the regular costumers, at least a little.  Nope, she's not in that category, but that's still a long way from saying I've met someone.

Anyway, this Schrodinger's Cat dilemma came up where, okay, the Invisible Woman; if I get with this person in my world, the Invisible Woman would show herself and be really pissed off, but if I don't get with this person in my world, the Invisible Woman would just remain a figment of my imagination and not show at all.  

This is what passes for woman drama in my world, but no one out there really has to read this if they don't want to, so I'll continue.  Yeah, this hung me up for a few hours, this Schrodinger's Cat dilemma, but I came up with this:  I was listening to this Temptations Greatest Hits CD on my computer last night, right, so they are going on about love, love, love, this, that, and the other, right.  And, I started thinking, "Man, Dr Burns is right, they sure do make love out to be this big, important thing in these pop songs.  Don't they?"

I mean, if love weren't this big important thing to me, too important still, in my opinion, there'd be no dilemma.  Am I right?  The reality of whatever situation I really am in will shake out in some form or other, but I could just calm down about the whole thing and not take the lyrics in this one Temptations cover of "The Impossible Dream" to heart:  "To love, pure and chaste from afar." I mean, fuck that.  Right? 

And don't anyone think that such a crazy-dumb dilemma can hang me up makes me some kind of dumbass either.  I used to have this therapist who, when I'd just mention someone in my world whom I had an attraction to, he would immediately evaluate her suitability to be in a relationship with me.  Mind you, not to just ask for a date, not to just go on one date, not to bump uglies with her just one time, not to date for a month or so and call it off, but whether this person that he'd never met would be a suitable partner for a longterm committed relationship.  Ay yi yi!  These people get paid a fortune to come up with this shit.

And if I just do the math on how many girls and women I've been on one or more dates with vs. how many I've actually closed the deal with in my adolescent and adult life, the ratio has got to be at least 7 or 8 to 1.  Mind you, I've not been with that many women in my life, and I've not been on just an incredible number of dates, so to just automatically think about that moment where we're both naked with anyone in my world is a bit premature at this point. No?
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