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Logistics/ show this Saturday

8/30/2018

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I've often talked about my impressions of interactions with various young women in my world that may strike many as paranoid and unhinged.  Regardless, I made  the decisions I made, none of which got me banned from any businesses, and, as far as I know, I haven't gotten myself into any other kinds of trouble. 

I've talked about that virgin girl from 2014/15 and how I think I made the right decision about her.   I just decided to slow things down, take my time, and accept the possibility that going on even one date with this person might not be in the cards at all.  I took me about four and a half months from the time she fired a shot across my bow for me to reach the point where we both knew that I would not pursue her romantically.

I was in the business where she worked one day in January.  By that time I figured that her game consisted of trying to get me to ask her on a date, or ask her for contact information or whatever, in front of God and everyone at this business where she worked.  My fifty year old ass asking this twenty-one year old for that kind of thing would have come off as awkwardly as if I'd tried to punch my way through a brick wall with my naked fist, and she totally knew that, and she would have reacted accordingly.

So this one day in January at this business, I just give her a look when I see her, and the astute, intelligent young woman that she is, she soon turns to her manager and loudly, gleefully proclaims, "YOU LIED!  YOU LIED!"  Yep, she knew she'd been busted.  About a month and a half to two months later, this virgin girl showed visible signs of pregnancy.

If someone at a business like this, say, another young woman, were to take more of a genuine interest in me, what should I do?  I think it would be okay to just slow things down, take my time, and accept the possibility that I might not even go on one date with such a person.  The logistics of reaching out to a much younger employee at one of these businesses has never been a winning formula for me.  I could see just letting someone who had a real interest in me- to some extent an interest- I could see letting such a person just slip through my fingers.

I've had to work very hard at ridding myself of the notion that I always needed a love interest in my life.  Furthermore, it wasn't just a matter of me myself just letting go of such a notion and that was that.  There have been genuine real world temptations from very attractive young women who, in my estimation, did not have my best interests at heart.  The example of that virgin girl is only one of several.

Perhaps it was good that I had these tests of my resolve, because I find myself in a place where I have little or no interest in taking on a love interest, no matter where this or that young woman is really coming from.  I've said it many times: my main criticism of my "turn my back on love" experiment from many years ago resides in the idea that I didn't take it far enough.  If I find myself older, grayer, and even more alone than I do now as a consequence of taking that experiment too far, maybe some after me will care enough about what I tried to do and hold it up as an example of what not to do.

I have my gig at Kick Butt Coffee on Saturday, September 1st at 9 PM.  I will use my Magical Mexican Telecaster.  I will ask my teacher today if the strings need replacing.  The pickup on the Mystical Martin is giving me problems, thus the decision to go with the Telecaster.
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