Richy Vegas - The artwork and music of Richard Alexander
  • Home
  • About Richard Alexander
  • Music
  • Art
  • YouTube 1
  • YouTube 2
  • Blog
  • Contact/Social Media

Lessons from long ago

3/25/2021

0 Comments

 
I remember feeling very trapped and pressured by the situation with Sara in 1988.  Read blog entry, "I'm not bad," from January or February of 2016 to get up to speed on Sara.  When I delivered documents for my dad's practice in 1987, I  remembered one office that had a flyer for a group that would meet for counseling.  The flyer said that this particular set of patients would feel especially emotionally accessible due to their childhoods.  I think it had something to do with the absence of hardworking parents or something like that.  Anyway, I never looked up that group, but the flyer went on to say that such people often feel victimized due to this heightened emotional accessibility.  I read that flyer at the time I had a really bad time with Wanda, and I felt as if she had been taking advantage of me.

So, here's Sara in the Spring of 1988 in my Latin American Art History class, and she seems to want nothing better than to put me behind some kind of eight ball, emotionally speaking.  Sara seems to have had nothing better to do than to present me with this dilemma posed by so many elusive women in my life.  If I pursue them, will they run?  If I don't pursue  them, will I miss out on an opportunity?

So, like I said, I felt very trapped and pressured in this dilemma presented by Sara.  I remembered that flyer about how emotionally accessible people can often feel victimized in relationships, whatever "relationships" means, and I said to myself, "So what's so bad about coming off as accessible and available?"  My course of action, once I took it, made it clear to Sara that she could approach me should she wish to.

I learned through the course of action I did take with Sara that I didn't need to chase women like her to the ends of the Earth and back.  I could just come off as someone they could avail themselves of for any reason should they want to.  The cat and mouse game continued into the Summer of 1988, until I got really insulted one night when one of Sara's friends made it clear through her repeated coughing in a large painting studio at the school that I was to jump through hoops.  After taking this deal to a new place for me, and probably Sara, I ended Sara's access to me.   I snubbed Sara as I walked by her one time in the hall at the beginning of the Fall semester, 1988.  I kept it up that whole semester, during which I secured teacher recommendations for graduate school but did not attend classes because I'd graduated the previous Summer.

I've taken that lesson to heart ever since I decided to revive the Sara experiment in 2012.  Women will favor whomever they favor, and oftentimes it's just not me.  If I make myself available, approachable, and accessible enough over an extended period of time towards this or that woman in my world and nothing happens, there's a reason for such a nonevent that has nothing to do with whether my game is up to speed or whether I'm playing my cards right.  All I can really do involves coming off as friendly and approachable enough to satisfy my own standard of meeting that kind of expectation. 

In other news:  Tonight I found my brand new container of parmesan cheese in the pantry at the front of the shelf at eye level.  I said in the post yesterday that it looked as if the Invisible Woman was back at it in regards to pilfering shit such as my parmesan cheese and my Pogues CD.  "Gee, not to put any pressure on you, Rich, but now that you mention it..."  Also: Last night I wrote a draft of, "Pardon Me Young Lady (But You've Double Parked Your Broom)."  I decided to refrain from posting it, because I didn't want to offend anyone's religious beliefs.  Just call me Woke As Fuck Rich.  That's what the kids like today, for you to be woke as fuck.


0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.

    Archives

    May 2025
    April 2025
    March 2025
    February 2025
    January 2025
    December 2024
    November 2024
    October 2024
    September 2024
    August 2024
    July 2024
    June 2024
    May 2024
    April 2024
    March 2024
    February 2024
    January 2024
    December 2023
    November 2023
    October 2023
    September 2023
    August 2023
    July 2023
    June 2023
    May 2023
    April 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    April 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    August 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    March 2012
    January 2012

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
Site Design Lipsting Media | ©2012 Richard Alexander | [email protected]