Another experience I have to draw on concerns my friend Allyson. I met Allyson in the summer of 1993. I had just come back from Big Spring, where I went into the state hospital in December of 1992 because I became so depressed I was suicidal. This depression followed my gran mal meltdown over Jenna and subsequent diagnosis of a major mental illness during the summer of 1992. Anyway, after I got back from Big Spring, where I stayed with my dad and his family after my hospitalization out there, I met Allyson at a party.
I'll cut to the chase and just say that, yeah, Allyson wanted me as an admirer too. I was more willing to face reality regarding her over the years, and I mean over the years because we're pretty much friends to this day. No, I never rang her phone off the hook or bothered her on any social media accounts. She designed my website in 2012. For money.
That former cashier, whom I really fixated on for so long, still has that person who may or may not know her in my world. I'll cut to the chase on this former cashier. Access and approachability was always an issue for me in regards to her. After all these years of this cashier being an issue, it still is. There's no progress on that front at all. That fact will affect any decisions I make about her moving forward. All one has to do is refer back to the title of this blog post for my thinking on her.