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Ladies and gentlemen, once again, the wrong person

7/31/2023

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Last week I sent a postcard to that famous person's fan club address.  I had sent four previous cards to her old fan club address, but two got sent back as undeliverable/ unable to forward, and I caught wise to the concept of Google initially providing me with an out of date address.  I've pretty much decided to just send this one card to the current address and leave it at that.  I think there's a strong possibility that any more postcards to the current address would just prove that I really don't have any way of credibly approaching this famous person, because this person would never personally respond to such an entreaty no matter how many or how few postcards I sent.

I have a strong feeling that my effort to reach out to this person will just prove that she's the wrong person to reach out to for social purposes.  Whether this is a "lesson" the she, the real person in real life, wants to teach me, Richard Alexander, or if this is "the universe" trying to teach me this lesson, it doesn't matter.  I can make intelligent decisions about the wrong person all day.  In my mind, at least, this famous person could have seen my expert handling of that unrequited love situation involving me and that former cashier at that grocery store, and decided that she wanted whatever attention drug I doled out to the cashier with my approach towards the cashier.  Weird!  Welp, at fifty-nine, and since the age of about fifty, the wrong person and persons have been lining up outside my door in force.  When life gives you lemons, as they say.

Do the words I write constitute me shooting myself in the foot in regards to my chances with this famous person?  I think not.  I'm not a big believer in sympathetic magic in the sphere of romantic love.  Believing with all of my heart in someone or something won't make it so, and skeptical inquiry, respectfully and tactfully done, won't make it not so.  If this person ever wanted to actually be anything to me, she'd find a way, just as I tried to find a way with the postcards, and she'd be the first person I could find sympathy from with my tortured skepticism. At least that's the way I see it. 
 
If  the women in my world don't actually find a piece of their own struggles, past and/or present, in the words I just wrote, then I have  people all wrong in general, and women I find attractive all wrong in particular.  In other words, will I encounter blowback for expressing these sentiments?  I hope not, but I'm prepared to fight it out if I do.  I didn't sense that much moral support in regards to that former cashier, either.  That is, until I delivered whatever it was that so many attractive women in particular, and so many people in general, want some of in life.  I hope this famous person feels cared for and regarded well by me, no matter where she's coming from.  If this is all in my mind, well, I can make intelligent decisions in that kind of scenario as well.
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