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Just keep on the same course

2/9/2020

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I interacted a tiny bit today with that young woman at that business whom I can go on quite a bit about these last eight or so months.  I think that my course of action will continue to involve just letting go of any notion that I will try to get with her socially.  In other words, I will not go out of my way to favor her with attention, or try to put myself out there with some grand, bold gesture that expresses any desire any part of me still has to do something about any of this.  If it turns out that I'm forsaking the love of my life due to my lack of willingness to engage with her in such a way, then let me take this opportunity to apologize to this young woman, apologize to myself, and to apologize to the gods everywhere for giving up on all of that.

I just believe that a huge source a apprehension such a very attractive young woman would invariably have about an obsessive type such as myself involves a fear that I would form a premature, inappropriate emotional attachment to her.  I believe if I was twenty-five years old. I believe if I was seventy-five years old; such a prospect; that I would form a premature, inappropriate emotional attachment to her; such a prospect would make her crazy.  I think that my course of action (or inaction) of these past eight or so months proves that I've had this likely concern of hers at the forefront of my thoughts on how to proceed.  If some black guy wants to call me "the man with the plan" in light of my stated course of action in regards to this young woman; that is, to just continue to leave her alone for the most part, then so be it.
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