In a post earlier this year, I brought up an encounter I had with an old neighbor at a business. She had lived next door to me by my old house around 2009/2010. She was pretty attractive, and in that post I talked about how I'd invited her to a little party at my house when she lived next door. I talked about how I had an occasion during the party to go outside, and how I saw her sitting in her living room eating and watching TV.
When I saw her in that business, both of us customers, late last year, she seemed really glad to see me. She talked to me at length, and I wondered if she wanted me to make some sort of move, such as asking for contact information. In my head, I remembered how she'd kept me at arms length, and I made myself say to myself, "Turn your back on love. Turn your back on love." I couldn't figure out if this newfound interest was sincere or if it was some kind of trick. Anyway, we parted ways, and I stood my ground.
In the past couple of months, I came to the conclusion that this woman had heard about that run-in I'd had with that waitress at that diner I used to eat at. I've posted before about how this waitress didn't like how I'd wear a t-shrt that read, "I support single mothers." I managed to figure this out on my own, and I decided to stop wearing that shirt when I ate in that restaurant.
For shits and grins, I decided that I wouldn't call attention to the fact that I'd stopped wearing that shirt, and I just kept going there to see how long it would take for them to figure this out. I've talked about how I figured that this waitress wanted nothing more than to do a vicious takedown of me, wearing that t-shirt being only one of my sins. Another crime seemed to be that I worked there in the Summer of 1990, when my mental illness was still untreated, and I freaked out the owner and some of the female staff. The other big thing was, that I went out of my way to say hi to this waitress a couple of times in early 2012.
In my world, such women can't let such transgressions such as being mentally ill and wearing a t-shirt they don't like go unpunished, and so, in the Summer of 2012, the fun began. I stopped wearing the shirt, after one day when I sat in that restaurant, and decided that the conversation that this waitress had with a coworker about how her ex-husband admitted to still wanting her intimately was maybe for my benefit. She went on about how it was with the young kids and all that, and I guessed that maybe she wanted me to get the wrong idea about her availability, and my countermove was to stop wearing the t-shirt that read, "I support single mothers," and featured a silhouette of a stripper next to this phrase.
Anyhow, it took about two years and four months for her and others to figure this move out, and by that time they'd tried to play all the fun games I know about better than such types realize. It really did mean something to me that she and others finally figured it out on their own, just as it mattered to me to show that I cared for her on some level by not wearing the shirt anymore. I just saw that whole time as a one-man civil rights protest, in that I figured that as long as I didn't bother anyone, costumers or staff, while I ate there, and was courteous to everyone, that I had as much right to eat there as normal people.
So, this old neighbor of mine had as her roommate, while she lived next door to me, a sister of this formerly aggrieved waitress, and months after I encountered this old neighbor in that store and blew her off, I figured that this sister might have told this women about the t-shirt stuff and put in a good word for me. So, that means that the old neighbor was coming from a genuine place when she talked me that night at that business, but I'm not a mindreader, and all I could think about at the time we talked in that store was how this neighbor had kept me at arm's length while we lived next door to each other.
The reason I bring this up now is because there might be a young woman in my everyday-patronizing-businesses-world who might have taken something of an interest in me. The only problem is, I put in Facebook friend request for her months ago, and she never accepted it. At this food service business that she works at, she would continue to throw out flirty gestures and looks after it was apparent that she'd never accept my Facebook friend request, and that she'd probably declined it when she first came across it.
This quite young woman's new found friendliness towards me might be because she heard something nice about me, or it might be just something along the lines of a realization that my formal manner towards her is something that she doesn't need to take personally, as I've made it clear, in general to everyone, that I just have no interest in pursuing someone romantically if they present themselves as unavailable to me.
She seems quite nice, and she's very attractive, but a LOT younger than me, and I've given myself the permission to blow her off if she presents me with a similar fight or flight/ jump through hoops dilemma that my old neighbor seemed to present to me. Why do I have to perform for this person? I put in a Facebook friend request for her that she probably declined. It was the most discreet, non-confrontational way I knew how to get the ball rolling, and she just came back with this phony flirtation stuff when I patronized this business at later dates. If I don't want to fuck with it, I won't fuck with it. Maybe she'll do the same thing this old neighbor did, and just passively wait for me to make the big move, and maybe I like her so much that I'll go ahead and go for it. Then again maybe I won't.
Sure, Mark Zuckerberg's a dick for letting the Russians co-opt his social media platform and not copping to it when the word first got out, and yada, yada, yada, yada.... But, I owe him another box of chocolates for this one.
When I saw her in that business, both of us customers, late last year, she seemed really glad to see me. She talked to me at length, and I wondered if she wanted me to make some sort of move, such as asking for contact information. In my head, I remembered how she'd kept me at arms length, and I made myself say to myself, "Turn your back on love. Turn your back on love." I couldn't figure out if this newfound interest was sincere or if it was some kind of trick. Anyway, we parted ways, and I stood my ground.
In the past couple of months, I came to the conclusion that this woman had heard about that run-in I'd had with that waitress at that diner I used to eat at. I've posted before about how this waitress didn't like how I'd wear a t-shrt that read, "I support single mothers." I managed to figure this out on my own, and I decided to stop wearing that shirt when I ate in that restaurant.
For shits and grins, I decided that I wouldn't call attention to the fact that I'd stopped wearing that shirt, and I just kept going there to see how long it would take for them to figure this out. I've talked about how I figured that this waitress wanted nothing more than to do a vicious takedown of me, wearing that t-shirt being only one of my sins. Another crime seemed to be that I worked there in the Summer of 1990, when my mental illness was still untreated, and I freaked out the owner and some of the female staff. The other big thing was, that I went out of my way to say hi to this waitress a couple of times in early 2012.
In my world, such women can't let such transgressions such as being mentally ill and wearing a t-shirt they don't like go unpunished, and so, in the Summer of 2012, the fun began. I stopped wearing the shirt, after one day when I sat in that restaurant, and decided that the conversation that this waitress had with a coworker about how her ex-husband admitted to still wanting her intimately was maybe for my benefit. She went on about how it was with the young kids and all that, and I guessed that maybe she wanted me to get the wrong idea about her availability, and my countermove was to stop wearing the t-shirt that read, "I support single mothers," and featured a silhouette of a stripper next to this phrase.
Anyhow, it took about two years and four months for her and others to figure this move out, and by that time they'd tried to play all the fun games I know about better than such types realize. It really did mean something to me that she and others finally figured it out on their own, just as it mattered to me to show that I cared for her on some level by not wearing the shirt anymore. I just saw that whole time as a one-man civil rights protest, in that I figured that as long as I didn't bother anyone, costumers or staff, while I ate there, and was courteous to everyone, that I had as much right to eat there as normal people.
So, this old neighbor of mine had as her roommate, while she lived next door to me, a sister of this formerly aggrieved waitress, and months after I encountered this old neighbor in that store and blew her off, I figured that this sister might have told this women about the t-shirt stuff and put in a good word for me. So, that means that the old neighbor was coming from a genuine place when she talked me that night at that business, but I'm not a mindreader, and all I could think about at the time we talked in that store was how this neighbor had kept me at arm's length while we lived next door to each other.
The reason I bring this up now is because there might be a young woman in my everyday-patronizing-businesses-world who might have taken something of an interest in me. The only problem is, I put in Facebook friend request for her months ago, and she never accepted it. At this food service business that she works at, she would continue to throw out flirty gestures and looks after it was apparent that she'd never accept my Facebook friend request, and that she'd probably declined it when she first came across it.
This quite young woman's new found friendliness towards me might be because she heard something nice about me, or it might be just something along the lines of a realization that my formal manner towards her is something that she doesn't need to take personally, as I've made it clear, in general to everyone, that I just have no interest in pursuing someone romantically if they present themselves as unavailable to me.
She seems quite nice, and she's very attractive, but a LOT younger than me, and I've given myself the permission to blow her off if she presents me with a similar fight or flight/ jump through hoops dilemma that my old neighbor seemed to present to me. Why do I have to perform for this person? I put in a Facebook friend request for her that she probably declined. It was the most discreet, non-confrontational way I knew how to get the ball rolling, and she just came back with this phony flirtation stuff when I patronized this business at later dates. If I don't want to fuck with it, I won't fuck with it. Maybe she'll do the same thing this old neighbor did, and just passively wait for me to make the big move, and maybe I like her so much that I'll go ahead and go for it. Then again maybe I won't.
Sure, Mark Zuckerberg's a dick for letting the Russians co-opt his social media platform and not copping to it when the word first got out, and yada, yada, yada, yada.... But, I owe him another box of chocolates for this one.
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