Today I thought about going in there when this particular employee might work a shift there. This second time, I decided to stop going to this place at these times and days for the foreseeable future, but I wondered today about relenting. I figured that I would just refrain from trying to reach out to this person, because I figured that such a gesture would come across like an attempt to punch my way through some social brick wall. In other words, it wouldn't come off well at all. So today I thought maybe I could just go in there when she worked there but refrain from trying to punch my way through some social brick wall.
But then this line of thinking came to me: My biggest criticism of the experiment in my youth that I tried with Sara, the experiment to see what happened if I tried to turn my back on love, my biggest criticism of that experiment resides in the notion that I did not take the experiment far enough. I really only tried the experiment in full effect that one time, and right after Sara, the woman I now call "Linda" in these posts took a big shit all over me, and then after Linda, Myrna took a big shit all over me as well.
How would taking this experiment far enough in regards to this young woman at this one business manifest itself? I think that I do not want to go to this business if I think this person might work a shift at that time on that day for a long, as yet undefined period of weeks, and maybe months. I'm so tired of having to deal with women who remind of the bad old days of my youth.
I saw a young woman this past weekend at an event. I'd written her a note on her contact page on her website, but she never wrote back. I'd written her that note because when I saw her about a month ago at another event, she seemed really glad to see me and greeted me warmly. The note just pointed out my website and the Monica story on the home page. She seemed a little more guarded and reserved this last time I talked to her. I only talked to her a little and went on my way.
I'm fine with her coming off a little guarded and reserved. I had some hope that she would have written me back after I wrote to her and that we could have gone out, but seeing as how that didn't happen, I'm okay with setting some boundaries. If some attractive young woman comes off as friendly as she did, I think it's okay to run something like my note on her contact page up the flagpole and see if she salutes. If she doesn't, that's fine, and I know where I really stand with her. My intent in reaching out in such a way has nothing to do with setting boundaries. I'm always at least somewhat hopeful that something more to my liking will happen than setting boundaries yet again. As long as I'm not shitty in any way to such a person in my efforts or in the aftermath, I'm okay with doing such things.