In the last couple of blog posts I talk about how, in years past, I would desperately seek out a viable love interest from among the women in my world. I would talk about how, upon believing that I might have found such a person, I would set out on a campaign to win her over. Hilarity ensued.
I've thought about that. It was not always the case that I would just try to win over someone I figured that was not particularly interested in me. That kind of thing would usually happen after an initial rejection, the effort to then win that person over would manifest itself in going out of my way to prove what I great guy I was, and that I was not hurt by their rejection and I would try to score points that way. I'm not talking about thirty years ago either, I've done this kind of thing pretty recently. I guess it's not all that unusual for a guy to do this, but I've just kind of gotten sick of the whole charade, and I think that maybe I come across as trying to manipulate the love interest with this great guy shit.
A very common scenario, a variation if you will, would go down like this: someone I had an attraction to would do some flirty thing or other, sometimes big, sometimes little, right. Whatever it was they did, I would then harbor the conviction that there was something "there" as far as the extent of their feelings for me. So, I figured that it was just a matter cashing in on what was already there in them to bestow on me. I could carry a torch for months and months nursing such a belief in my breast.
They could get really scared at the robustness of my undying ardor for whatever I was responding to, and then it could go far and wide that I was going off the deep end, and oh, the hilarity that would ensue.
Several times I would come to some realization or do some really heartfelt gesture showing that I really meant them no harm, and the sky would crack open at some point before or after this gesture and i would have a psychotic episode. I would realize sometime during the breakdown phase that the feelings I thought these young women had for me weren't really there, but in the act of my heartfelt gesture, I could sometimes stir up feelings in them of tenderness towards me, to some extent.
The only problem was, after I would have my breakdown, I had no desire to try to cash in, because I could get quite enraged at the ugly side of humanity, whether in the women themselves or the community around us, that I would see in the process of this psychotic episode that would unfold.
So, for the record: I'm pretty sure that there are no young women that I am attracted to in my world that are awaiting my discovery of their feelings for me, so I have no concern about playing my cards right in an attempt to cash in. Now run along.
I've thought about that. It was not always the case that I would just try to win over someone I figured that was not particularly interested in me. That kind of thing would usually happen after an initial rejection, the effort to then win that person over would manifest itself in going out of my way to prove what I great guy I was, and that I was not hurt by their rejection and I would try to score points that way. I'm not talking about thirty years ago either, I've done this kind of thing pretty recently. I guess it's not all that unusual for a guy to do this, but I've just kind of gotten sick of the whole charade, and I think that maybe I come across as trying to manipulate the love interest with this great guy shit.
A very common scenario, a variation if you will, would go down like this: someone I had an attraction to would do some flirty thing or other, sometimes big, sometimes little, right. Whatever it was they did, I would then harbor the conviction that there was something "there" as far as the extent of their feelings for me. So, I figured that it was just a matter cashing in on what was already there in them to bestow on me. I could carry a torch for months and months nursing such a belief in my breast.
They could get really scared at the robustness of my undying ardor for whatever I was responding to, and then it could go far and wide that I was going off the deep end, and oh, the hilarity that would ensue.
Several times I would come to some realization or do some really heartfelt gesture showing that I really meant them no harm, and the sky would crack open at some point before or after this gesture and i would have a psychotic episode. I would realize sometime during the breakdown phase that the feelings I thought these young women had for me weren't really there, but in the act of my heartfelt gesture, I could sometimes stir up feelings in them of tenderness towards me, to some extent.
The only problem was, after I would have my breakdown, I had no desire to try to cash in, because I could get quite enraged at the ugly side of humanity, whether in the women themselves or the community around us, that I would see in the process of this psychotic episode that would unfold.
So, for the record: I'm pretty sure that there are no young women that I am attracted to in my world that are awaiting my discovery of their feelings for me, so I have no concern about playing my cards right in an attempt to cash in. Now run along.
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