I've changed my mind

As of earlier this evening, I have no plans to show up at that young woman's place of employment at the times I've known her to work there in the past.  In a post from earlier today (Valentine's Day!), I wrote that I would try to see her at her job, but I've since changed my mind.  I do this because she's proven to be one of these elusive young woman who have come to bedevil me for quite of number of years now.  When one finds oneself confronted repeatedly with young, attractive women who do not typically make themselves available for dating and all of tha, one has to find unconventional ways of getting to know them better.  These methods of getting to know such women better pretty much involve sitting around in the comfort of one's home and adding things up.  Lot's of sitting on any urges to pursue such women, making observations, and doing the math.  These tactics yield much better results, typically, than anything to involves overt romantic pursuit.

My relationship with women IS intelligent decisions.  Now more than ever, given this pandemic time that does not favor dating of any new people.  Earlier this evening I expressed to myself a desire to get to know this person better.  I immediately conceded that my most trusted methods of knowing such a person better don't involve pursuit or dates or sex or anything like that.  My most trusted methods of getting to know such a person better simply involve revisiting past episodes involving this person and deciding that these  episodes contain all that I need to know about such a person in order to make an informed, intelligent decision about her.  The most definitive episodes that involve her in regards to myself invariably highlight the elusive, frustrating side of her that she chooses to show me.  Any desire i have to "show up" in her world in any significant way seems really ill-advised and foolish in light of how emphatically she impressed a really distasteful, unsavory side of her nature upon me.