I posted over a month ago about how I wanted to stop blogging about my personal life, because doing so seemed to generate so much intrigue in my own day to day world. I would go to places in my daily life and wonder if this barista or that person I saw on my walk had read my last blog post. Blogging about Warren Zevon or the Rolling Stones seemed to help a lot with these thoughts and feelings of people watching me that I had to sort through on a regular basis. It seemed to create a viable boundary to blog about books I've read or some such rather than blogging about my personal and inner life. For the most part, I still want to refrain from blogging about personal matters, but I'll relent for this post, at least for now.
I'm still not going to that person's place of employment, as of this writing. I still have no plans to go there in the foreseeable future. I invited that young woman to my comic book show around the end of October, she didn't come, and she didn't seem to have any desire to engage with me whenever I'd see her at her place of employment. I don't want anyone, her or anyone else, to fling accusations around that I'm stalking her or otherwise behaving in a harassing or transgressive manner towards her. No, I really don't.
The support group I joined says a sign that one has their shit more together on this front comes in the form of not "doing" for others what those others can do for themselves. I see going into her place of employment and trying to come off as some good guy who just wants to try and work things out as "doing for her" too much. Again, I'm not at all sure she'd even want me to do any of that "for her."
On the other hand, I read in a Doctor David Burns self-help book an item where he told of a female patient who just started going on dates with a man, but she said he was a bad kisser. She told Doctor Burns that she liked many other things about him, but that this kind of thing could break it for her. Doctor Burns suggested that, at the right time, she tactfully instruct this guy on how she'd like to be kissed.
Okay. I told this young woman the name and location of that comics shop I sold books at last October, so she could contact the owners (during business hours, of course) and ask them about me, as they are friends of mine. Some other people work there who don't know me, but if she asks for one of the actual (husband and wife) owners, and asks either of them about me, they should tell her anything she wants to know about how to get in touch with me.
I miss this young woman, and I still think about her all the time, and I don't think I ever did anything to mistreat her. I just bailed on going to her place of employment because I wanted things to change between us. I decided that, if trying to get closer to her did not seem to present itself as a viable option, then I could go the other way, and that I would get a kind of change that I might find surprisingly appealing. I still don't think I'd find what I'm looking for if I go to her place of employment in the foreseeable future.
I know, I know, I used to go on this blog and DEMAND that this young woman reach out to me in some meaningful way, and she NEVER, EVER did. But, most of those demands I made BEFORE I ever reached out to her by inviting her to my comics show. As much as I care for this young woman, I will not stand for any one-sided deals between us. If this person just does not have any desire to reciprocate my expression of my feelings for her, for reasons that may run the gamut of her having no feelings for me to express, to reasons I might find far more frustrating than that if I really knew about them, then so be it.
I'm still not going to that person's place of employment, as of this writing. I still have no plans to go there in the foreseeable future. I invited that young woman to my comic book show around the end of October, she didn't come, and she didn't seem to have any desire to engage with me whenever I'd see her at her place of employment. I don't want anyone, her or anyone else, to fling accusations around that I'm stalking her or otherwise behaving in a harassing or transgressive manner towards her. No, I really don't.
The support group I joined says a sign that one has their shit more together on this front comes in the form of not "doing" for others what those others can do for themselves. I see going into her place of employment and trying to come off as some good guy who just wants to try and work things out as "doing for her" too much. Again, I'm not at all sure she'd even want me to do any of that "for her."
On the other hand, I read in a Doctor David Burns self-help book an item where he told of a female patient who just started going on dates with a man, but she said he was a bad kisser. She told Doctor Burns that she liked many other things about him, but that this kind of thing could break it for her. Doctor Burns suggested that, at the right time, she tactfully instruct this guy on how she'd like to be kissed.
Okay. I told this young woman the name and location of that comics shop I sold books at last October, so she could contact the owners (during business hours, of course) and ask them about me, as they are friends of mine. Some other people work there who don't know me, but if she asks for one of the actual (husband and wife) owners, and asks either of them about me, they should tell her anything she wants to know about how to get in touch with me.
I miss this young woman, and I still think about her all the time, and I don't think I ever did anything to mistreat her. I just bailed on going to her place of employment because I wanted things to change between us. I decided that, if trying to get closer to her did not seem to present itself as a viable option, then I could go the other way, and that I would get a kind of change that I might find surprisingly appealing. I still don't think I'd find what I'm looking for if I go to her place of employment in the foreseeable future.
I know, I know, I used to go on this blog and DEMAND that this young woman reach out to me in some meaningful way, and she NEVER, EVER did. But, most of those demands I made BEFORE I ever reached out to her by inviting her to my comics show. As much as I care for this young woman, I will not stand for any one-sided deals between us. If this person just does not have any desire to reciprocate my expression of my feelings for her, for reasons that may run the gamut of her having no feelings for me to express, to reasons I might find far more frustrating than that if I really knew about them, then so be it.
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